How does one cope with the monotony of life. Dead end jobs. Pointless relationships. Living for the weekend..
Is it really fair to say I want to commit suicide, if I feel like I’ve never really lived at all.
I thought giving up smoking drinking and drugs, while taking on exercise and healthy eating would improve my life but no. The little joy I had left in my life is gone.
I start work in a few hours, haven’t slept in a few days thinking about this. Is tonight the night. I’ve picked up the knife so many times already and pussied out, but this time I can feel the stress materializing over my hand. Yet for some reason I can’t do it.
Is it fear, is there a purpose. Am I just a *****? There’s nothing left for me on this earth
But even writing this I have a little hope someone’s going to pop out of that window, grab my hand and pull me of that ledge.
not gonna happen
I just want the lights to go out so I can finally get some rest.
1 comment
I know this is late, but don’t do it…. Coping with life is nearly impossible, but we all do it, somehow. If you resort to drugs, hey, i do too. Only weed though… it helps a lot, and it doesnt hurt you as bad as other things do. It makes you tired so you could get some sleep, too. You could lean on others to cope, you could lean on me. Id be willing to try and get you through. Sometimes the best way to hold on is to find an offered hand to hold onto….
If you need the lights to go out… I know that feeling, where it’s all you want. My only advice is what I do, because its all I know how to do: get stoned, close your eyes, and listen to music until all your brain knows is the lyrics.
It’s how I cope.
If you’ve tried this and it hasn’t worked or if you just need something different, email me (petalview@yahoo.com) and if I know more of the details about what’s killing you (or, making you want to kill yourself), maybe we could think of other ways to cope.