I finally found a way to end my miserable existence and I could not be happier. My mother knows how depressed I have been and wanted to “Just get away from things” so she has signed me up for a hiking camp. I could not be more excited. We’re going to go cliff-climbing and I can’t wait. I plan to jump from one of those cliffs. My depression cannot be cured with words or actions, only miracles. I can’t wait to pass onto the final frontier. I no longer care if that will be endless nothingness or a vast new dimension for my broken soul. As long as I can stop this hideous life which I continue to endure. Death is not a reason to grieve, it is a reason to rejoice and celebrate, for a loved one is now in a better place.
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15 comments
What if it is a WORSE place because of what you chose to do???
Then I’ll live with the consequences of my actions.
“Live” As if. I don’t believe in an afterlife, so it all works out.
DIP, I don’t think it would be fair to do that.
Your mum will always blame herself for sending you on the trip.
And the trip organisers and the people going with you – who might see you do it – will always feel they failed in some way, and will have to live with those feelings and the trauma of what they saw for the rest of their lives.
If someone really wants to commit suicide, it should be done in a manner that causes the least amount of distress and worry to innocent people.
They will be forced to get over it, time will heal them. I guess I’m selfish in that way. Time will not heal me, it has already crippled me. Yes, surely my mother will feel great agony at my departure, but the next day she will get out of bed. She will live. She is forced to. Time can be beautiful, but it can also be ugly. Everyone will move on. Maybe not entirely, but they will not spend every minute of everyday obsessing over it. I will become just a wistful memory and they will have to accept that. I already have.
what if your mom CANT live with the guilt. What if she chooses to end her life.
Can you accept CAUSING her death?
Yes. It’s her fault if she chooses to die, not mine. Yes, I may have greatly influenced her death but I will not be the one taking her life. Death is not a bad thing, it is beautiful. Why would I feel guilty?
sometimes even to live is a act of courage
I am very saddened by your post. February 15, 2012 I committed suicide and I actually died. I can tell you that where I went is not a better place. I did not see a white light at the end of the tunnel or heaven. All I heard was screaming and crying and it felt like people were trying to rip me apart. But I saw nothing but pitch black. I was in a coma for over 2 days. The dark still haunts me when I try to sleep at night. I now know that my suicide attempt has effected thousands of people. I still have bad days but it does get better. I’m sorry. I know how bad it hurts.
What if you jump and you survive? Can you handle the consequences of survival?
I really think you should think about what if you end up paralyzed. What if you get hurt enough where you cant attempt it again?
To think you could be the cause of your mothers life…… And not care….
You are a very selfish person. I think you are a hateful person. I suggest you pray.
Very hateful indeed. I hate the world and mostly I hate myself. I just want to leave this place. I’ll use my judgement to determine if a cliff is lethal or not. If I do survive then I’ll just live with the consequences. Rot within myself until I can find another way out.
Is it strange I find this kind of determination admirable in a way? None of us chose to be alive, we should be able to choose not to live if we dont want to. Life isn’t fun for everyone, myself included (or is it excluded?) Sometimes I think of life like a game, and like any other game I wanna stop playing when it stops being fun. Hope you don’t end up doing something you regret.
you must belong to the minority: those who want nothing else but death .. good luck man .. fuck life and the world