I have been through so much in my life. I feel like I’m not needed/ wanted her on the earth. I feel like I should be better than I am. Idk why I am here. I’m sorry, but idk what I should do. I don’t even know why I’m putting this out her, but I feel like I can’t talk to my friends about this. I’m really stressed out. I feel fat and ugly…. In need some help:/

I never used to be so sad, i remember only two years ago i was so happy laughed every day and meant it but now the very thoguht of smiling, makes me feel pain in my heart actual physical pain. its not that i want to exactly die no, i know i canhave a great life i know, but you stop me
my mother you stop me, you don’t let me leave this prison of a house you want me here all the same, you very own prisoenr that you can control that you can manipulate to do everything you say
and now i finally […]

I have major depressive disorder and social anxiety/borderline avoidant personality disorder.

I was going to go to group therapy. I never did.

I was seeing a counselor. I stopped going.

I take an anti-depressant. It helps a lot but not enough I guess. Less anxiety and less pain but that isnt enough.

I live a solitary life. I am like a hermit. I barely speak to people. I avoid women. Don’t make eye contact, speak as little as possible. If they seem to like me, become vaguely hostile…put up those old barriers. Whatever it takes. Because it hurts and they can hurt me more. But all I really want […]

“Stan collymore tweeted the other day , depressed people don’t want to die , they they want to live but with a different life”
Not sure if I believe this is true what do you guys think?

Jules x

So I don’t want a wake or funeral.  I want absolutely zero fuss made about my death.  But I feel bad killing myself and taking all these healthy organs with me… so I think, I know, I will donate them.  So I had this idea to do it in winter on a snowy day, so my body would stay fresh until I was found…. But it turns out that hospitals/universities/chop shops won’t take suicides… Also,  if you donate your body to one of these chop shop organ/body donation companies, they dole the pieces out to the highest bidder, making at least $200,000 per body.  The […]

I am extremely tired. Happiness keeps teasin me. Everytime it feels like its finally in grasp and my lifes going to be ok, it slips right out of my hands. Somebody I thought was my friend screwed up my relationship a while back. We never got over each other. I still like him alot. My boyfriend now, doesnt make me alot happier. We only see each other literally maybe three times a year so we just text. In the middle of the convErsation he’ll leave without explanation…yay. Then he acts like it never happened. I flirted with my ex and sccidently went a little too […]

and by that is, apparently it’s highly rare for anyone to have common sense anymore… Why am I always the only person around anyone I know to have the common sense to think something through, to see the solutions to do what’s right, but no one listens to me… In this world full of lies, and currupted greedy bastards, I still stay truthful and pure… In this world, all those horrible people continue to get rewarded, while I’ve never seen a day where I’m not punished… for what? for existing? for being right? for being honest? for being hard working? for having humanity?! all the […]

Kill me to free me
Tis my only option now
Cause I don’t have faith in myself
And ive lost my way long ago

In this storm that I brave to see a better day
I find myself crawling
Clinging to the fragile roots that doth hold me here

For my soul died long ago 
I live as a hollow shell
So go ahead and kill me
Send the rest of me to hell

Or release me from this hell
Where today I now dwell 
Searching for something else
To stay for, to breathe for, to live for

My tears have fallen for you
For the past the present […]

This is my favorite song, it’s Sarcasm by Get Scared. I just wanted to share. Look it up, maybe you’ll like it…
(i dont own this song, i think Nick Matthews does…)

You’ve got me shaking from the way you’re talking
My heart is breaking but there’s no use crying
What a cyanide surprise you have left for my eyes
If I had common sense I’d cut myself or curl up and die

Sticks and stones could break my bones
But anything you say will only fuel my lungs

Don’t mind us we’re just spilling our guts
If this is love I don’t wanna be loved
You pollute […]

I just really don’t know what to do anymore. It’s harder for me to think now, there’s just some kind of block in my mind. I stare off into space for long periods of time without realizing it, and when i snap out of it, i don’t remember what i was looking at, what i thought about during that time, or how long i was like that. Every time i imagine how life would be different if certain things changed, i break down. i break down a lot. i stopped being able to write well. it’s almost summer now, and im terrified because last year […]

i don’t understand the way i act

but its apparently making people react

i dont get why.

i thought i was allowed to be unique.

and one of a kind.

but obviously not, cause boy.

i just got judged

by something i didn’t think i was.

it made me want to cry

it made me want to shout

it made me want to scream,

SHUT THE F*CK UP!

because i hate it when i find out

that the things i do want to make people pout

but the thing is

its all my fault.

i didnt know i was like this

moody self centered b*tch

its great to know it now

for im going to take a bow

this is the end of me

and i hope that […]

C is for Cruel
H is for Hate you now
E is for Every girl I know
A is for Always “sorry”
T is for Tell the truth
E is for End of us
R is for Reason I tried to kill myself

Words have the meaning you put to them
Well I choose to make room for them
In my head heart and soul
I believe them to be true

But as my head well knows
Most people never show
The meanig behind their cruel words

For jokes, for laughs, for a moment of fun
They’ll go out of their way in their very busy day to make fun
Of my looks, of my beliefs, of my intelligence

Now, I know a few people who say that these lies are purely that
Lies that are told from someones fat ass
But I take them to heart
And that’s when I […]

Some days…I feel absolutely beautiful and that I am such an amazing person, but there they are to let me down again.

Some days…I want to live and love life, but there’s that one amazing thing that I screw up

Some days…some days I love myself …

But..

Most days…most days I don’t know why I’m still here. Because I honestly don’t think I deserve it or am worth it. Am I being selfish? No. I wish I could help myself…and maybe, just maybe, feel worth something.

I tie scarves around my wrists to stop myself from cutting your name into them.

I cry every night because you’re never here to hold me anymore.

You say you miss me, but god you do nothing to see me.

If this is love, I don’t wanna be loved.

Do you know how i feel? No, you don’t, no, not at all. Don’t act like you’re here, cuz you’re not. Nope, not at all.

When I said we should break up, you cried, you said you love me and don’t wanna let me go.

Well guess what?

Even if we stopped dating, it’s not like you’d be missing anything you’re getting now. […]

the life I’ve come to know has naught but
Shown me how cruel this world can be
Some say it’s the worlds way of making you stronger
But I know that I won’t last any longer

Because there are razors ever where
For drugs, for tools, for hair
All can be used for the simple chore
Of making my wrists bleed once more.

They come from stores, they come from shelves,
Hell, they even sell them in packs of a hundred and twelve!
And To those who say
It’s there but don’t use it today
I reply
Fuck you, I’ll take it and use this
knife […]

And this sweet sugar gun does not protect me

has anyone ever had a near death expeireince from suiside attempt, im gonna lay on the rail road tracks regardless,

Hey guys. Well i just wanted to say i feel sick. And i feel unhappy and not ready to do anything. I reallly dont know how or win i could get help. Im a busy Bee. But throwing up is making my throat burn.. But i feel sick when eating… Guys am i gonna die?

For the past few months, I’ve been lonely and depressed. I’ve wanted to kill myself. And I know this might sound stupid, but when my mom said I could go to a Justin Bieber concert with my friends, I found a reason to live.

Yeah, who wants to live for a Justin Bieber concert? Some might think he’s stupid or gay, but for me, when I hear something that’s going to come out soon from him, it just seems like a sign to continue living.

I’m not sure how long my happiness will last, I’ll still stay depressed most likely, but now I’ve made two goals. These […]