I have searched and found every registered sex offender in my area and like to write their name etc on the street they live on so others are aware and they live there. I never touch the property and do it at 3am at night. My daughter who is 23 got raped the same week I did but she is still suffering horribly. I know this isn’t directly related to suicide but maybe the pain we suffer that makes us feel self hatred and want to die can be fought back against. What others do to us deserves justice, not for us to hurt ourselves […]
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3am
Feeling overwhelmed again and feel that crazy need to DO something; so I am going to write as honestly as I can in hope of clearing my head and maybe helping others to not feel so alone..
I am 19 years old, going to a community college in hopes of learning everything I can about computers and eventually getting a PhD. (programming and hacking take me to a different place, a place where I am extremely intrigued and life actually seems interesting because there is so much to it.)Â Normally I just get tired of waking up to the same routine everyday, not so much that […]
To me the only way to live is to say its my life and I will do what ever I fucking feel like doing. If I don’t want to go to school I dont go, If I feel like going outside at 3am I say fuck the curfew. I will no longer have anybody ever again tell me what to do and I will personally clash with anybody telling me otherwise. I dont give a fuck about societies norms and expectations and Fuck getting a job. I am obligated to absolutely fucking nothing at all becuase I didnt even choose to live this life. If […]
I imagine myself as the boy stumbling out of the bar at 3AM alone and walking home. I don’t know what “home” is anymore, but I’m going to walk there, drunk and abandoned. And at some point, I’ll start singing a few songs that remind me of him.
I wish I could say I’m so sorry. I wish I could say I love him to him. I wish he felt the slightest bit of remorse for every time he said I meant less than nothing to him. I wish I could wake up tomorrow and find his car parked outside my house, knocking on the door, […]