Today Im on lunch and i get a picture message on instagram from an ex showing my gf on her exs page. Earlier saturday I brought up the fact she hasnt been talking to me for a while as she has been. we used to call every night and until saturday we barely called once a week so i knew something was up. then the last pic showed her on oovoo with her ex when she stated she hated oovoo. for 8 months we dated i spent about 700 dollars on her(I calculated) for her to leave me for a “gangsta”. I told the guy […]
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700
I just moved from home, in an attempt to save enough money for a college I can’t afford, to an entirely new city. I’ve been excited to move away from that place all my life, but now I feel crippled by adult responsibilities. My rent is 700, and I need to get a job immediately.
But with no job availability, and no experience to speak of in regards to city work, I’m stuck. Without a job, I can’t get insurance, which I need for a psychiatrist, and then for meds.
I need a car to get a job out of town, which I need a job to […]
I live a life of missing others. Whether it is due to death or just the fact that my best friends live 700 miles away, every morning when i wake up I have a long list of those I miss. When I miss someone so much it causes a sort of “pit” in my stomach that makes me not want to be here anymore. It sounds ridiculous- i know. The fact that just missing someone can cause such emotion and thought, but I believe it is more than that. The emotion of missing someone can be overwhelming. I dont just miss people, but also who […]
August 9th 2013, 5:54pm. Devastion was on the rise. My father had died then from being in a coma from an overdose of drugs. Now almost 8 months later I am just done, I can’t be around any longer, I feel like when I’m in school everything we talk about is conected to my parents. My mom dosnt have that much money as an average person, we r not poor, but we do rent for like 700$ among the 4 of us and its a small space. My mom dosnt notice I’m depressed or strugle in school because I try my best for her. And […]
until yesterday. Sat down to pay some bills online and what I feared was true, was. Is. I don’t have the money. Missed my first mortgage payment tonight and with a $700 oil delivery to pay for followed by a life insurance bill, electric, car insurance, then Christmas followed by it all starting over in January… I don’t see a way out of it. Even with my second part time job.
I can’t believe how badly it’s affecting me. I’m naseaus, ears are ringing, it’s a little difficult to breathe, headache.
If I up my life insurance policy by a little bit, make sure there’s no suicide […]
It doesn’t make sense. Right now, me sitting in my room with the lights out, only listening to flow of my typing. I’m not popular, but I do have friends. I have a crush. I have a roof over my head and food on my plate. I have a family that cares about me in their own way.
But still, I am alone. All that there is left of me is a shell that smiles. Inside, it’s hollow.
What’s the point? All the pain, expectations for the future, burdens from the past. I just don’t want to anymore. I sound like such a whiny b*****. Don’t most […]
Look at my body.
Look at my scars.
You see them?
Do you think there are too many?
Well, I can tell you,
it’s about less than 1% of the scars that are inside.
You don’t believe?
Ofcourse not, because you won’t.
You won’t believe that I have a terrible life.
But look at my body.
Look at my scars.
You see them?
Do you think there are too many?
Well, I can tell you,
they are uncountable.
Try to count them.
You can’t?
Ofcourse not,
because there are too many of them.
How much you ask?
I don’t know, maybe 300,
maybe 400, 500, 600 or […]