It doesn’t make sense. Right now, me sitting in my room with the lights out, only listening to flow of my typing. I’m not popular, but I do have friends. I have a crush. I have a roof over my head and food on my plate. I have a family that cares about me in their own way.
But still, I am alone. All that there is left of me is a shell that smiles. Inside, it’s hollow.
What’s the point? All the pain, expectations for the future, burdens from the past. I just don’t want to anymore. I sound like such a whiny b*****. Don’t most people want to kill themselves because no one cares about them? But I’m only living for everyone else. I don’t want to live (it’s seems so final when you type it out), but I don’t want to think about what will happen to everyone else if I disappear. I don’t want my story to be the gossip of the school or the gossip in my family of 700 people. I just wish I could leave quietly. To my happy land… where I sleep day and night.
(Not Proofread. I do not read over my work or else I will lose the guts to post it)
xoxo,
it’s only me
2 comments
You know I understand where your coming from I have never been able to live for myself, when its just me all I can think about is death I dont know what I want in this world and dont have the strength or the will to find it. Just know your not alone in how you feel, even if how I feel isnt exactly the same.
i’m sorry about that.
being alone sucks