Breathing, gasping for air as you are shoved through a long, tight, narrow space. Brightness. Everything hits you so hard. All of the sudden you are no longer safe, the warmth and comfort of the stable darkness quickly vanishes. Unexposed to anything bad, this is the beginning of your life. What will your story be? You could be anything, do anything. Your innocence is perfect. You are perfect. Everyone loves you, it is overwhelming. So many hands, so much touching. It so different than floating freely. But your happy, this new world is nice and it welcomes you with open arms. You drift slowly to […]
Tag:
Abused Children
I’ve never really set goals for myself…mostly because since I was 14 I have always seen myself commiting suicide at a young age and dying young. I fight every single day not to kill myself because it just seems like my destiny…..
Recently I have been thinking a lot about my situation and what could have helped me not turn out this way. I realize that a lot of my behaviors are because of the abuse of my childhood. I have spent many years thinking that i was defective, crazy, beyond help and basically just irreversibly fucked up. I know that other people feel that way. […]
I silently slip out of bed and turn on the light, I creep over to the bench and grab my lighter and pack of cigarettes and shove them into my pocket. I walk over to my bedroom window and slide it open, the cold mist outside creeps It’s way inside sending a chill down my back. I look up into the night sky and wonder what time it is. I open the door of my room and close it quietly hoping my mum dosn’t wake up. IÂ walk down the creaking old stairs. Downstairs I go into the dining room and look up at the […]
My whole life has been one traumatic event after another. Most of my young childhood memories are of my mother beating on my older brother and sister. When my older sister got married and moved out of the house my mother then turned her aggression towards me. It wasnt so bad as long as i stayed out of her sight. So that is what i did. We moved to texas when I was 12. The first couple of months mother was oddly pleasant. It felt like things may be getting better. Guess again! It was just the calm before the storm. Mother on top of […]
i think my body is telling me to die. when i am riding my motorcycle, i tend to lose myself in imagining that i crash at the road, lifeless body, or hit a trunk of a tree with a branch piercing my heart. when i in a trance like that, my body tends to press the oil even harder, making more speed. i smiled everytime i skidded a little on the road.
i have a couple of friends that i always hang out with in order to release pent up stress but now i felt that my mind is going crazier by the minute. when my […]