I would rather kill myself than continue  living with my mentally abusive mother
Tag:
abusive
I feel hurt, angry, a little frightened. One of my best male friends moved in with me and a few other people back in the fall, and we’ve been close. Though, I’ve gotten noticeably more depressed. I didn’t figure out why until today. For our entire friendship, my friend has been trying to get romantically involved with me, regardless of whether I’m with someone or not. Because I’m too stupid and trusting, I had no idea. He’s aware of the fact that I’ve been in a few physically, mentally, and emotionally abusive relationships, and has apparently been using manipulative tactics on me. I didn’t realize […]
Before I write my post, I just want to say how relieving this place is. Strangely enough, every time I write a bit, after I feel better for a while. It’s like if writing a bit once in a while was a drug. But it feels goddam good to tell the world.
Sometimes I wonder why we should trust people. I have incredibly big trust issues. I really do not know who to trust. Ever.
Not my family, thats for sure… I can’t stand their judgemental “advice” .
My friends; Â I have many but none I can really truthfully talk to.
My best friend; I don’t know her sometimes. […]
I decided to off myself some time ago, but in the middle of getting everything arranged (will, notes to people left behind, etc.), I rekindled a love with a wonderful girl I met my freshman year of college (5 years ago at this point). Â I was so fascinated and enthralled with her that I thought, maybe, somehow, this is what I’ve needed. Â Something healthy and fulfilling after years of miserable, abusive, horrid intimate relationships. Â So, I put everything off.
Afterwards, I was happy, really happy for a spell, and every part of me was distracted by her. Â Even when bad feelings came, I knew I had […]
The hardest thing is being so tired all the time. They all say to get outside, that experiences are the rungs with which to climb out of these dark times. My armor is too heavy to lift, the joints too rusted to bend, it splinters off, catching under the fingernails of the people around me- invisible and uncomfortable. When I was 9 my father died. When I was 11 my mother’s boyfriend was verbally and physically abusive. When I was 17, the “good man” my mother left the abusive one for cheated and divorced her. By 20 I was the subject of abuse in the […]
(Long post. Sorry.)
Only in the last few months have I felt this way, and it seems to be getting more intense (although manageable). I’m in my second marriage to someone that I love, respect and adore, but that is quickly falling apart. She can’t stand me. This morning she told me that she wants a divorce, and she’s serious. I will give it to her for her sake. Left up to me I’d fight her on it, but she really, really just wants out, and I’m 100% the reason why (her words).
My ex wife always said I was controlling and abusive, and I initially thought […]
I don’t know if anybody cares, but clearly by the poetry I’ve written I have issues. Nobody cared to comment, so I guess I’m not cared about at all. I have been told to go die in a hole my sister, my dad has told me that EVERYTHING is my fault, and we won’t even get started on my mom. My family is not abusive in anyway. Just verbally when they’re mad. I have ADD and insomnia. I’m a good kid. I don’t get in trouble. I love God. But for some reason, every time I close my eyes I see the evil that I […]
Oh . my. fucking. god.
Long story short, I had a father who abused my mother, i would protect her causing me to get beat instead of her which was totally fine with me, as long as she wasnt hurt. one day he went too far, and she FINALLY -thank god- divorced the beast. that was around 3 years ago, and we haven’t kept in contact, (me and my father) . But my birthday, was around a month ago, and he sent presents for the very first time, whoopee. a fucking month late. cheers dad. not only that, but he sent me clothes, all in […]
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