3 years since i last posted
Hi, I’m Annie, resident fuck up of phoenix arizona. But then again, we do have someone shooting up a highway here (in my honest opinion, i think it’s a part of the gun control movement. Shoot people and make them scared of guns, gets more people to orgasm over gun control.)
I used to post on here all the damn time as a 12-14 year old, I made friends on here that i never kept. It was like our own little community of fucked depressed people.
I don’t know how I remembered this website, but I am glad I […]
Tag:
Alcohol Abuse
I don’t know why but putting my story out there feels like it will help, so here I go. Read if you please.
I was born healthy, I have two older brothers. My mom worked all the time so I stayed home with my dad. My dad is bipolar. Though I only vaguely remember, I’m told I spent most of my childhood sitting in the dark in the living room because my dad’s paranoia made it impossible to leave. My dad had some alcohol abuse problems and he would abuse my mom too. I shared a crawlspace as a room with my older brother. We eventually […]
Social anxiety disorder has completely consumed my life. I don’t have any friends left. Most of them have moved on because my avoidant behaviour is very off putting. I don’t blame them for that.
I’m so depressed about my life and what is going on for me. I attend college and am scoring well in my exams, but I can’t even say “hello” to the other students. There really is little benefit in scoring well in theory when you can’t put this into practice in our very social society.
Sometimes I put on a brave face and say that I feel okay and that I don’t care […]
Depression hits us all, I think. There’s not a single person I have spoken to that hasn’t felt it’s clammy hands around their soul. It seems to be caused by many things, from big life changing events, to small things that just build up and knock a person off their feet eventually. Â I’ve had it time and and time again, but usually managing to shake it off like a wet dog. Â This time however, it’s crippled me.
I’ve seen death burn through a families hope, I’ve felt that pain. I got through it.
I’ve felt the devastation of a loved one no longer loving you. I got through […]
I know its there, ive felt it before. I must find it. I didnt know i could feel so good and alive. It comes so naturally to most other people. But for me o have tp get it from alcohol or abuse of my perscription drugs. The feeling of clearance, contentment, knowing what i want. Actually joy, insane cobfidence in myself. I know what ive been missing all my life. Its so frusterating to thonk that ove been deprived of it all my life while others ignorantly take it for granted.
Why cant i have these goos feelings of confidence and joy regularly?
I am desperate […]
So, I’m going to be on therapy soon. For years I’ve been trying to cope with my past psychological traumas with heavy alcohol and drug use, had various sex partners I barely knew, nearly got killed several times, got injured heavily and got myself even more psychological traumas and now it seems they have reached their critical mass.
Worst is that I wanted to spray some positive graffity on the wall of my room and I googled “love” and ended up crying after seeing a whole lotta couples. But deep inside myself I am laughing about myself still being affected by my classmates making fun of […]