We are not the same, not you ,Not me .nobody will ever understand you, nobody. its you all alone on this thing we call earth.Life is a big challenge some quit earlier then others .Some get it easier then others but you can’t help what happens .Do you really even know what life is cause I sure dont.
Tag:
alone
Disclaimer: I wrote this while contemplating suicide.
I wish I believed in God. If I did, perhaps I would be afraid of death. But death does not scare me; that is half the problem. If it did, I would be less likely to welcome it.
I love every one I spent my life up until now with, and gave so much of my time to. I don’t regret a thing.
If I ever were to leave this world, I’d want everyone to be happy – I want you all to know this.
If there was an end point, and I had no other option, I would leave peacefully.
Suicide….it is ever present in my mind…I’ve almost finished with all of the paperwork (will, power of attorney, advance directive, etc). I’ve prepaid for my cremation. The urge just won’t leave me alone or give me any respite, any rest. I think of suicide each and every day now.
I am so profoundly and desperately lonely. I have a constant headache. I could buy a gun tomorrow (this is Arizona where people openly carry them into restaurants)…I could answer the call of the Golden Gate Bridge….I just don’t know. I cannot discuss this with anyone I know, it’s already caused some people to avoid me and denigrate […]
1. So recently a girl who I saw at school for five months was killed… We hadn’t spoken in eight months…. I don’t know what to do. She was so bright and when ever I was around her I felt like it was okay to be myself because she was so accepting of me. Unlike other people in my past. But now she’s gone and I don’t know what to do. She was so beautiful and so amazing. I miss her so much and all I can say is heaven gained a beautiful angel that will be missed dearly.
2. I FREAKING RELAPSED! I hate […]
She’s so alone in the dark…abhorring herself more and more as nights go by.
Falling…
Falling…
Ever so deep into despair. The rest of the world look on from the top of her hole and cast laughs and hate..and pity.
Just close your eyes and sleep, young one, for you’ve held on quite long enough
So, I’m really starting to think that I am insane, I swear I keep hearing people when I’m alone…
scared nobody will like me
scared to be alone
scared more people i love will die
scared my life will get worse
scared people wil see my scars
how can i not be affraid
I wrote this a long time ago, in my teens when I was first coming to terms with my depression and feeling suicidal. This was one of the many many poems I wrote going through a really bad time. Thought some of you might relate or have at some point.
I can’t bare to go on much longer
These suicidal feelings continue to grow stronger
The only escape is in my sleep
I’ve dug this whole and now I’m in to deep
Don’t act like you know how I feel
For you see this life of mine is surreal
Still praying you hear my desolate […]
Have you ever thought about who you are?
The way you are?
That noone will ever love you because of that? I have. I’ve come to realize that its useless to change things about yourself for others. Whats the point? Arent people supposed to love you despite all your flaws? At least its what I’ve learned from watching television.
I am in my early twenties and never been loved. Trapped in an endless loop of thoughts without an exit. It’s really painfull. I cant look at people sometimes because my mind is telling me what the person is thinking about me, and its never something nice. […]
I am very alone in this crippling emptiness. Unfortunately, I don’t have it in me to take my own life, I know how brutal death is on normal people, I wouldn’t put them through it. How to live through depression and the lack of will to live? Is it possible?
Im ready to be done, with constant hurting and sadness. Ive been broken for years and I cant be fixed. I want to end this. But i cant hurt people. I cant hurt my family and friends. Im so miserable. I cant do this anymore, but i can let go.
Aww another day of this face I have to put on daily the happy to be alive face. When inside I am dark ,sad,alone crying I have been this way since I was 15yrs old I have survived multiple attempts on my own life been institutionalized once or twice lied my way Out this face sometimes is hard to keep up that darkness inside me overwhelms me and I go somewhere and take the mask off like now in a place with over 360 people I am crying alone.but I cannot stay this way the mask must be put on again I long to be […]
I’ve always been running from my problems. Â It started when my parents divorced and my mother gained custody of us and ran away to the Big Island. Â Then, 9th grade of high school finished up and my dad was able to gain custody and I ran away from my mom with my little brother J to Oahu, not sure whether he wanted to or not. Not sure if he knew either. There was no contact between my mother and me& J. Â Although communication was allowed, still a wall of silence. Â Things were great with my dad…but then more problems arose; problems between my dad and […]
I’ve decided that I want to do this.
I have everything planned out, I just need to finish writing my letters. A long time ago the plan was to write a letter for everyone who has ever been a part of my life but now I just want to do close friends and family, it’s too overwhelming to try to write something for everyone, especially people who I haven’t talked to in years.
I feel like this is what is meant for me. After years of fighting and hoping and praying I just can’t do it anymore. Nothing is ever going to work out or stay going […]
Hi,  Im deciding on whether i want to be here for my special someone, or to exit out of  life before things get even worse for me. I have never felt so alone and hopeless in my entire life.
I have always been alone, lack of social life, have only 3 actual friends that I don’t want them to worry too much. My family would mock me for my thoughts and caused me to regret many choices. I have always been questioning what I actually wanted to do, but I don’t know. I suffer from fear, day to day endlessly. I fear about my future, what’s my point in living? I lack confidence indeed, but I truly don’t have any special skills. It was all fine to me, I can shed a few tears at night and get over all of my sadness and […]
Reaching out but never caught.
In plain sight but never seen.
Screaming for the attention,
the one that will never come.
But if it ever does,
it’s too late;
For I am gone.
Shouting for freedom,
hoping for a savior.
The wind whispers,
of Love…of Acceptance.
Blank faces stare back,
forever judging,
forever laughing.
For I am gone.
No more crying,
please; For me.
No more loneliness,
no more regret.
Darkness…Light,
they both look the same.
For I am gone,
For I am alone.
Crazy thing is I feel so alone yet I’m surrounded by people. I feel like noone understands me or what I’m going thru. I went thru a recent break up and she won’t move out. It kills me every time I see her and can’t hold her or do the things we once did. I did my best to push her away and now I want her. Crazy right?!
So there’s this girl, she always felt lost and alone in this big world. It seemed like nothing would ever go right. She doesn’t know who her dad is and her mom only cared about the next guy in line to be with. She seen her mom go thru hell and back. She helped her mom thru all her drug addictions but it seemed like no matter what she did she could never get her mother’s love. When she was young her mom dropped her off at her ex husbands house cause she couldn’t take care of her and she thought it was the best […]
The Anger came back. It feels like poison. It takes everything out of me and to compensate, I take it out on everyone and everything around me. I wish I didn’t I feel sorry after I do. But it just doesn’t seem to go away. It’s a punishment. I can’t sleep at night. I drink so I won’t dream. I have such an overwhelming guilt. I wish I could go back… Not to change the outcome. I don’t think anyone can cheat death. When it’s your turn. It’s your turn. I just wish I could have gone back. Not left her alone. I wish anyone, […]