I wrote this a long time ago, in my teens when I was first coming to terms with my depression and feeling suicidal. This was one of the many many poems I wrote going through a really bad time. Thought some of you might relate or have at some point.
I can’t bare to go on much longer
These suicidal feelings continue to grow stronger
The only escape is in my sleep
I’ve dug this whole and now I’m in to deep
Don’t act like you know how I feel
For you see this life of mine is surreal
Still praying you hear my desolate cries
Everyday I live, A little of me dies
My heart slowly grows cumbersome
Disgusted with who I’ve become
Living in my final days
No this is not just a phase
Constantly searching for a way out
Hopeless with a head full of doubt
Maybe they should just commit me
Lock the door and throw away the key
My smiles are nothing more than fake
Your criticism is more than I can take
My wits are sharper than a knife
Maybe I could use it to end this strife
Doctors are nothing short of a joke
High cost med.’s enough to make me choke
Shortly after speeding off in their vette
Leaving me with nothing more than debt
My only outlet is through these pages
Left with but a pen an paper in life’s cages
Now I’m bleeding to death from a paper cut
Still sitting there ignorant with your eyes shut
Maybe I’m in a coma and on life support
Pull the plug now even if it’s only as ‘Last Resort’
Fighting to hold back the tears you can’t see
With A lump in my throat I cry my last plea
On my knees I reach out from under my bed
By the time you get this I will likely be dead
I know you will or can not understand why
To the best of your knowledge it will defy
You will always remain embedded in my heart
Now the time has come for me to depart
From the icy waters of loneliness and despair
Agony has set in and it is beyond repair
Leave my headstone blank and without name
Cause I was never really known, so it’s all the same
Now I cease to exsist, just a memory of the past
Long forgotten and hardly missed
Drifted off by the tides of new things to come
Now all I am is ‘Comfortably Numb’