I completely lost it. I don’t know how to get up anymore, today i did it more as a mechanism, because people do that, they get up. My hands are shaking, I am terribly afraid of myself. I can’t control my actions anymore. It seems like another person lives inside me, controling my mind, giving a false perception of reality. I think i am insane, I don’t want to be and the thought of it makes me cry. People have so many expectations of me but i just wish i can tell them who i really am. And more than anything i wish they could […]
Appartment
Hi all, just registered, found the site through some google work. Have been hospitalised for 7 months in February with a nervous breakdown/depression (not certain which, they never told me) after being on Xanax for years. Been back to work in October and had to go see a new psychiatrist for follow-up who subscribed me on Fluoxetine (Prozac). I was doing ok (relatively) before that but for some reason I’m now more depressed than before instead of vice versa. The medication also makes me highly nauseous, especially sick in the morning, and causes severe heart pain in the early hours of morning when lying in […]
Yesterday I was drinking again, behaved like an idiot around a girl I was dating a while ago. Had a verbal fight over the telephone with my brother – told him that I was trying to kill myself several times this year. Then I had a talk with a friend and he told that the other people would very sad if I kill myself on the other hand I don’t believe that. I know that my funeral would be attended by a few hundred people but how come I feel like being nothing, I’m terribly lonely, I don’t feel like having a life at all. […]
Its always darkest before the dawn right? Where did the fucking Sun go?
Well it’s been an interesting time in my life. I’ve spent almost 2 months of it in a mental hospital separated with a girlfriend of almost 3 years, mother of my third son who will be 2 tomorrow. Â Started a relationship with another woman who I have to say, I love dearly. Â I just don’t know what to do with myself anymore. I can’t bring myself to live a ‘normal’ life where I am a responsible adult and 9-5 and family one weekends. I left out in disability in December of last year about 3 months after FINALLY seeing a psychiatrist and being diagnosed with […]
I’ve suffered from post tramatic stress disorder for the past 13 years of my life. And only 2 of those years, I’ve acually been getting some suport through councelers and meds. I’m 19 and I live with my only friend in the world. I have no family and no other friends to support me. I’m broke, job-less and running out of time. For the past month, I have been applying and dropping off resumes everyplace close by, and still I am waiting. I owe my friend and his brother $325.00 for rent and bus pass money. If I don’t get a job soon, I’ll be […]
i have written this message over 30 times, deleted it and rewritten it all over again…
Perhaps this is a motherfucking therapy on its own…
Life is short, we only live once, but this life sucks. Are we gonna do something about it or let us get fucked by any ***** around?
You know what, I was so determined to kill myself… but before that i wanted to give it a go.
YES, make the most amazing robbery of the century, or simply go to South America or to one of these African villages and live with the locals there, forgotten by the fucking civilization. It is possible, some people […]