As some of you may know, I recently had a miscarriage. I feel terrible and can’t seem to get over it and my family is not helping at all. My dad and my brother call me fat literally everyday and my father is forcing me to go to the gym so I “get fit” or whatever. That breaks my heart. They don’t understand that the extra pounds I have and my tiny belly reminds me of my baby, and I’m not ready to let that go. I don’t care about looking hot or being fit right now. Plus, my mom basically keeps me under house […]
okay, so my last post was really positive! But this one isn’t going to be!
ever just have one of them days where even being in someone’s company annoys you but you can’t stand to be alone?
I chose to eat a lot this morning, I used to comfort eat a lot! but then my head just went. So made it all come back out, I made myself sick until I felt weak. Until my belly burned.
Then I went into my room and self harmed. I was doing so fucking well but today I lost it! Worst part is I didn’t even cry! I felt no emotion […]
May the angels protect you
Trouble neglect you
And heaven accept you when its time to go home
May you always have plenty
Your glass never empty
And know in your belly
You’re never alone
May your tears come from laughing
You find friends worth having
With every year passing
They mean more than gold
May you win but stay humble
Smile more than grumble
And know when you stumble
You’re never alone
Never alone
Never alone
I’ll be in every beat of your heart
When you face the unknown
Wherever you fly
This isn’t goodbye
My love will follow you, stay with you
Baby, you’re never […]
…Charlie Chow Mein. His fees are reasonable…some daily catnip and treats. And food. Lots of food. Fresh water. Belly rubs. Ear rubs. Toys. A $300 cat post(ikr! It was on sale for half price) that reaches the ceiling and takes up most my living room. Attention whenever he wants it. And I have to share my food. He likes deli meat, vegetable crackers and coconut flavoured yogurt. So worth it though. He keeps all my secrets, lets me cry all over him, he feels nice to […]
“SoCal, Belly, West-Coast, The Morlocks”
But still the sun shines
I don’t know, I don’t know
What I can find
The only way to follow
Is through another spirit
But I seek from the dark
The gold, the gold heart
Still on to a next sound
I’ve sung for three-hundred days
What more can I say in my abyss
I want to move forward, to evolve
I need a friend
The crevice of the beast in the web
I seek the golden, I am the iron
And there is a poison that destroys
Truth-reality, essence of Gaia inside of me
I listen to the flower of the […]
“Iron”
The earth, the rain, and the thunder in the music has stopped
Switched to the sound of a ghosted, a being of aghast
I have three-minute in abyss to sing my way through
Real-truth reality chained to a bell and cast in the maze
Pure-plague of Gaia, 2014 A.D.
Escapade the atomic, the tectonic, inside the belly
The bells of continuation will never stop ringing now
Of my white-dog of all foremost, take him, take me, take you
Alpha Black-Lotus
In the labyrinth, an only way to come through behind gateway-thirteen
Is to call for an angel, winged-creature of heart and your holy bone
Cubone cannot […]
I’m 20 a mom and a wife, yet I still feel like suicide may be the only option to make everything better. My life isn’t that bad but all the physical and emotional abuse I’ve went through has added up and made me feel like it’s finally time to cut myself off. For a while I realized my life wasn’t that bad to where suicide had to be an option. Recently tho my husband has come out and told all that he doesn’t like about me. I’m pretty but have a mommy belly. When I was pregnant I gained over 100 pounds from eating, then […]
I was born in California. I am 23 years of age. I’ve never had a real relationship with any guy. When I was young I was rapes by my own family member. I’ve never been allowed to go out at nights. They raised me indoors, except going to school. I do not work, I don’t have a car or a boyfriend. I see people being successful while I’m still stuck at my parents house doing nothing except playing video games. I’m not pretty, I’m fat. I have ugly toes and a belly that looks like it has been squish. I’ve been thinking of taking my […]
i feel nothing i laugh and cry druing the day then i come to this were i feel nothing did the day meen anything i whant to cry and evrey tiem i get cloce to the tears i yern for thay stop i whant to feel the blood run down my arm agine i whant to feel sick as i look at it agine i whant her as i wrote that the tears have come i whant her llike it was i felt the change when she got bad it felt like a punch in the belly
i havent thought this in a long time because im […]
Seeking the Alpha Black Lotus.
The bounty in the belly of the dragon.
Your spirit and soul mutated.
The ghost is heaven and hell.
I am here. Tied and hanged upside-down.
In our Present time, God, is death; your name in vain.
Our birthright to party, our humankind.
I need the comrade, the steep and rocky road from Saint-Hell.
Let us go, smooth. Ghost Rider and Ali Baba, and I, in the dark.
The next match to light and ignite into magic.
Transmogrify, like I’m going to go train to take down a giant killer dragon.
I need to, to save this fucked child and […]
I am at work feeling scattered and not quite apathetic just conflicted. part of me doesn’t care and wants to run out and leave and never come back. Part of me wants to stay because the work I do is important and does help people. Part of me hope an airplane crashes into my building and takes me out. Part of me is focused on the pain in my belly. Part of me is focused on my broken heart. Part of me is horny. Part of me never wants to be touched again for as long as I live.
Living is hard.
Sands of hell, here at the end. Pray for me, everybody.
I am the Ho-Oh, and nowhere to land. The faith, is dying.
My name is dead Ash C’atchem, here in the belly.
My totem pokemon is the muk. My cherry pick was a bulbasaur.
Here, in the world. The journey, there is only one.
A venomoth flew in my eye today, I think that was good luck.
I will catch you next time, venemoth, and butterfree.
Man, life could be so beautiful, if simply so. Heal me.
A journey toward celestial, my name is dead Ash C’atchem.
The entire lower hands, my fated. My totem, […]
I cut my stomach up today. I don’t ever count my cuts or burns but I know there’s close too a hundred. If I don’t cut I get irritable. My skin crawls. Sometimes I can go without cutting for a few weeks! It’s Rare but it’s happened! I was doing really well until today. I got very depressed because I broke up with my boyfriend and I just thought about how meaningless my life is, basically. Everything is better now but the cuts are still there.