For a long time i have felt but a hollow shell and unwanted/loved. NO matter what the incident is I am the one who is to yell at. Feeling unloved by my parents is the worst, I have never lived up to my sisters, straight A students, went to college, got good jobs. Me i don’t even get a second look by my parents. Listening to all the accomplishments my sisters have is annoying. I had always showed my love towards my family but since birth i was hated. Locked outside to “play” while my sisters watched TV. Sent to my room where their was […]
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Bench
Hi, everybody.
I didn’t use to think of myself as suicidal in any sense.
I’m seventeen years old, and I have felt so overwhelmed lately I don’t know what to do or how to cope.
My dad was diagnosed with hypertensive heart disease this year, and he’s been in and out of the hospital. He doesn’t live with me, but I go to his house nearly everyday after school to be with him, because I’m never sure when he won’t be around any longer.
I’ve also been struggling with financial issues with my family, and to top it all off, school has been absolutely exhausting.
I’ve begun to skip classes […]
(From a dream. Sorry if the size of the post annoys. Just scroll on down.)
I was standing in a large grove of oak trees. It was sunny and warm. The wind was blowing faintly. The grass was bright green and lush. It seemed to be spring.
Through the trees a crowd of people emerged and walked toward where I was standing. The people were all smiling and laughing. They seemed to be in very good spirits.
Amongst them was a procession of young girls each wearing white dresses and adorned with a crown of wild flowers and each carrying a bouquet.
I was swept up into the crowd. […]
I have had 16 years of anxiety ridden life. The social phobia has gotten the best of me, I have no friends and am not in school. I stopped going last year in October.. After I ran away.
I was living in a dilapidated house. The ceilings leaked, the water pipes didn’t work, there was no heat. It had been less than a month that we lived there and we loved there due to transitions of homes. We were waiting for things to go through with the house we would be renting. Anyways, I was dealing with that and then school. I have no friends, […]
I haven’t posted for a while,
Not a lot has changed I’ve began to see a psychologist again. But the reasons for that boil down to the decision I made on last weekend.
I couldn’t cope anymore, as my last post states.. I didn’t know if I would attempt again.. But something set me off on Friday.
At first I tried to squash the thought out of my head..
But it kept coming back. It felt just like any other day lately.. Dull, boring and grey. I walked into the pharmacy at the end of my street, placed my script on the bench and nodded at […]
I think this is it. A lot of beer in me. I’m ready. I’m not afraid. I’m only afraid of my future which would be much easier if I didn’t have to deal with it. Texted a bunch of friends, it’s 3 am, why the fuck would they be texting me back? I had a great plan, a great plan full of what ifs. What if I found a job, what if I was happy, what if things would change the moment I moved 600 miles away. No, location doesnt change a thing. I dont know what to do anymore. I’m going to the park. […]