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Back to this again

by mydogisdead
written by mydogisdead

Edit: Wow… No comments, and my post is buried on page 3 (currently). It’s time for death I believe.

Well, seems I cannot escape suicidal feelings. I was sure I’d go through with killing myself the last time I was here… but… I hung-on. Things got better. Now everything is downhill again. (Or uphill, depending on your view.)

I was jobless, and felt unloved. I met some people, re-connected with old friends. It seemed like things were improving. As usual, it was an illusion. I always end-up back where I started. Having nothing, and being alone.

My dog is getting put down next week. He’s old, and he’s […]

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finally helped

by alilmom
written by alilmom

I’ve been scared of adding more pain for so long. But I finally decided that I had to do something. So I tried cutting tonight.  Omg! I’m not happy, but I’m so much better… I could control this pain.  I can have something that I can control… I just idk…

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Get me out of hell

by karakkaas
written by karakkaas

I’ve been here before and here I am again. It’s been 3 years I’ve started voicing my desire to die. Three years of pure hell. Everyone says it’s going to get better and I so wish it would. But it’s not. It just gets worse and worse and I’m more alone than ever.

I can’t even kill myself properly. I’ve overdosed on pills about 15 times. I can’t go through with cutting my carotid or partial suspension. I’m a fucking failure even in my desire to die. I’ve been kept as an in patient in a psychiatric institution twice. I’ve seen countless psychologists, psychiatrists and doctors.

They […]

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I can’t do this anymore.

by GraviT
written by GraviT

Nobody understands, I don’t understand it myself.

 

I don’t open up to anybody and don’t feel the need too, I think I can talk about my problems and work out my problems in my head and for a while, its worked. It worked up until this point, the point I realize I have absolutely nothing. Its taken me all these years, all those times when I thought I was better, All those pills prescribed for something that I didn’t quite understand myself, I just thought I was normal, being in touch with my feelings was normal, everything was normal.

To make matters worse, I started using drugs, […]

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This Life I Hate

by Jovahala
written by Jovahala

Do you remember those summer childhood moments spent carefree and happy, when you were filled with hope for your bright future?  I do.  I look back, and think, where did I go wrong? What did I do wrong to make it get this bad? I also remember a childhood gone wrong – a childhood of sadness wishing it would all just go away.  I remember a young me, not too long ago, wanting it all to end.  And that’s still the me today.  I’ve always felt like I were on the outside looking in.  I’ve always felt somehow different – as if there were something setting […]

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Poison

by Madgwamenza
written by Madgwamenza

I knew didn’t I? In the moments before I had that first, tiny, dreadful thought, I’m sure I knew. The idea wouldn’t cross my mind and then never come back. That’s not how it works. It’s like when you’re searching for the answer in a trivia game, you get stuck on one thing you know is wrong, but you can’t think past it.

That first thought. The whisperings of death drawing me closer with every incident. I’ve come to accept that even if I make it through this, even if I survive the next 10, 20, 30 years, I might not make it further because I’ve […]

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stopped by to say good bye

by truthbetold
written by truthbetold

I’ve ran out of patience with trying to figure out my “life purpose”

I may be in a better emotional state than I was in late 2011 and the first half of 2012, yet that isn’t enough to make me value life

when I look back, life hasn’t been very enjoyable since mid 2010 and it’s time to put an end to this farce

my only regret: among all the people who say (believe) they care about me, not one would be willing to help me in any way to leave this prison

DON’T BE FOOLED: people value their feelings more then they value your well-being … yet they […]

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Anniversary

by kristink
written by kristink

have a nice social buzz going what better time to reach out? today is an anniversary of sorts for me. one  year ago today i got felt up by a cop in front of an office full of people. checking for the gun i had recently purchased.  in  my state i had to wait 3 days to get it.  so therefore i didn’t have it yet. the whole incident was traumatizing. and in after thought was a mistake. should have learned to keep my mouth shut. i really don’t know what i was hoping to accomplish. my stay at the nut hut was a waste […]

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Happying About Dying

by ArtNHeaven
written by ArtNHeaven

Time is ticking away on my deadline because I’m going damn near insane. Yet I make every excuse to stick around and to hope for things to get better. What a fucking waste. I’m at a point where I satisfied with dying. I still don’t feel like I don’t have much to live for and I’m wasting away (it feels like it). I can sense the slight frustration my mom is having with my unemployment (it’s been a ***** to find a job). Two degrees + debt = biggest waste and regret of my fucking life. I understand her in everyway. I turned and looked […]

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Up and down…

by Palmer123
written by Palmer123

Last week was particularly bad, and I had repeated thoughts about suicide–after many months of not having those thoughts.

Then on Sunday I was much better.  I gave my oldest daughter a special gift.  I had my Rolex readjusted so that it fit her.   I got so much joy watching her wear it.  I’ve always told her that she could have it as an heirloom when I died, but I wanted the chance to watch her enjoy it.  I was so happy about giving it to her.  Yesterday, I was in a board meeting for a charity I serve on and got two nice compliments. […]

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Tremors

by Selbstmord
written by Selbstmord

No one knows and no one can see. I cant cry anymore only gag and rock myself until I stop moaning the pain away. Its silly how we can fall so rapidly and just realize this once we have the pills and alcohol at the ready. How did it come to this? “I just want you to get better so you can stop hurting everyone else.” he said. Why did he say it? They sent me somewhere where I was supposed to get better. I said it made me better. In reality they blew my head off. Its terrible thing, lying. What can I do […]

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because you wished for nothing so much as to change…

by treebythesea
written by treebythesea

“Why do you want to shut out of your life any uneasiness, any misery, any depression, since after all you don’t know what work these conditions are doing inside you? Why do you want to persecute yourself with the question of where all this is coming from and where it is going? Since you know, after all, that you are in the midst of transitions and you wished for nothing so much as to change. If there is anything unhealthy in your reactions, just bear in mind that sickness is the means by which an organism frees itself from what is alien; so one must […]

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I belive all theists are foolish

by addicted
written by addicted

living with them is very depressing

Most people can’t imagine a life without god

Whats wrong if you accept the brutal fact and live. Instead of still believing in that messy myth created by dumb ancestors.

god,religion, philosophy are all rusty and end of life(EOL).

Technology is going to rule next 10 generations. Our generation is at early transformation stage- We must form a new set of rules for better human life on earth

 

 

 

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Will it Ever End?

by Mitzia
written by Mitzia

This is my first post here, so if I do it wrong somehow, I apologize in advanced.

I found this website during winter break when I was in a pretty upset mood and reading the stories on here didn’t help lighten it.  But I couldn’t turn away from it.  I felt connected to these stories.  It was as if someone felt the way I did, even if it was just a little bit.  I hear stories all the time about people being bullied and committing or thinking about suicide, but you never hear what their stories are, how they truly feel.  That’s what really drew me […]

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falling apart piece by piece

by Honey_bee00
written by Honey_bee00

when people say stay strong things will get better i promise.. it never turns out to be like that in my case i get over everything. and it comes back cuz of something else happened to top that problem..
feeling like shit and nothing going right in your life. called whore by your dad and telling him to pack your things cuz she dont want you living with him anymore. then moving in with my mom everything starts getting better then BAMM you get raped by your step dad then end up getting a bf that same night and scared your gonna lose him your […]

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