I don’t know anything nothing I feel so fucking crazy and out of control i don’t know what happened the other night I chain smoked three black and mild I’ve never chain smoked before my whole body’s been shaking for three days something’s wrong with my cats Elmo is starting to go bald on his back and it scares me they have vet appointment Friday i have no friends I’m scared for Ryan I probably ruin everything like I always do I don’t know what to think I’ve never never had anxiety before until he first left my first anxiety attack scared me and i […]
Tag:
black
“but then, it’d come out all fucked-up like me”
-Down-tempo, beautiful trip-hop;
not in the ship, the water the color; the dead messiah-
Tonight, who can save me
All rolled-up, is all that I see
Today, who the can save me
All dug down, is all that I see
There’s nobody, there’s nobody
Multiple-man, to resuscitate another
A mass-growth-utter, seven and eight-billion inside the Labyrinth
Killing me, killing me; the humanity
Jesus Fish
I want to go on but save me
Go to the store and get me my weed
We shall, we shall, decipher; golden dying
I am the living-myth, what is the living-myth
The living-myth, a giant black beast of hell
Who am I, why am I
Inborn with my golden […]
Hello everybody. I really hate alot of things about myself. I am also sick with social anxiety and clinical depression. I recently discovered that I’m transsexual. I’m an 18 year old attending college to get a mechanical engineering degree. I feel like if I transition I’m going to destroy everything I worked for because I heard that workplaces just hate hiring transgender people. I also feel like if I transition I’m going to end up still looking manly due to being fat, acne ridden and hairy. I am also half black and from what I researched and understand black male to female transgender people don’t […]
been a while since i been here. hope everyone is doing ok, or at least staying alive. I hate having suicidal thoughts…but here they are tonight, first time in a while. im quite lonley, and i need a better job, or my gf might leave me. I already only have one friend. crap, im scared of being homeless,in jail, or dead. maybe as a 29 year old black male without a good job (although very educated) i have just seen all the good i will ever see in life? maybe…i should just take the easy way out. i hope this mood passes quickly.
My birthday is tomorrow and I find myself researching ways to kill myself. I have felt suicidal since I was 7, yet I always convinced myself that tomorrow would be better. I have lived this lie for 19 years. I’m sick of it.
I tried to jump out of a moving car on Wednesday night. My fiance stopped me. When I thought about how horrible it would have been for him to see me like that, it made me feel so wretched.
I am an abuser. I abuse him like my parents abused me. I don’t hit him, but I hurt him with my existence. I am […]
Is anyone on here from Australia? Or is it just me? I feel so disconnected. Everything I find is in America…
I decided to colour my hair the other day, to try to get me out of this funk I’m in. It’s worked before. I’m naturally blonde, so you can imagine all the jokes I copped at school. I usually dye my hair black. It’s longer now, since I can’t afford a haircut, so it’s growing out. So I bleached it…
You can imagine the outcome… yellow ends, orange middle & white roots. My best friend (whom i live with) stared at me in horror & […]
Im feeling very sad! Extremely lonely, hopelessness is like a black hole Ive fallen into. Some days are ok, some days I just want to sleep all day! Weekends seem to be the hardest to bare because I live alone and have no one to hangout with! My boyfriend has been pulling away from me for the past month, we haven’t spoken in days! He’s angry with me because I didn’t answer my phone for a whole entire day! Really, I called him 15 times in 3 days with no answer and he is furious with me for ignoring him for a day! I had […]
Where once a bonfire of life could be seen
Now lies a black scorch on the village green
People they departed a few at a time
Even though I’d committed no crime
“There’s no smoke without fire” then “I knew it weren’t true”
How their minds changed when the whole truth came through
That part of the village is still dead and black
And like the friends, it’ll never come back
The arm of … the angel of death, hurts
Nobody knows, nobody, nobody knows
Treacherously holding our scythes for
The dying ones, nobody, nobody knows
The angel, the angel.
Time, has proven to be, eternal, to me
Passing time, I am the ultimate spawn
I will never come back, I will never
You have to help me, the homage of the undead
Take me, take me … To go die.
The black whisper, the white viper
The abstract story, one does not enlighten
And all is forever lost, transcendence, the pain
My nature, my spawn, into your death
Calypso, we were going to destroy the world.
Somebody save me, Sakura […]
I am neither a black or white sheep, in terms of how extreme a person I am.
White sheep are the normal people, who have their daily struggles but usually they come out on top. Some of them have a good life, some of them bad – but most have a life that they feel is fulfilling and meaningful – spouse, house, career, car, kids – it’s all been done before but doing it yourself feels so different. You make your own life and you are relatively content, maybe even happy. Maybe a few bad thoughts now and then, when it gets to the lowest point […]
Its not like Im some teenage girl going through tough times. iam a 20 year old adult who wants to be free, i dont care what it takes, i dont even care anymore about anything, i’ll be doing it for myself and only myself to free myself from this world, because this world is black, and i have seen colors, i have enjoyed here but not anymore, im not sad, i know this is the right thing to do and i will be getting hold of a gun soon, guns are fast, and they suit my personality.
Michael the angel but not yet of the arch
A battle and confrontation like black and white
The eternal Morlock, and the last chance
A little north by the water, we will go
One day, for peace and prosperity
The muck by the coastal, I will be alone
Will the Gengar come, or maybe Jynx
One day, will I ever have the power
I miss you Machop, and I need you
Hope you can come, too.
My co-worker proposed to his stunning, sweet girlfriend tonight. On the beach. With a sparkly diamond ring. Everyone clapping and smiling. I saw her full of love, surprise, crying, and happy. “That’ll never be you” I thought to myself. Just kill me.
I met my friend’s wife. She’s a size zero with a prominent jaw line and a contagious smile. She has a presence that is quiet but powerful. She wore high heels with perfect eyebrows. “That’ll never be you” I thought to myself. Just kill me.
I saw my boss, laughing and schmoozing. She wore a long dangly silver necklace and a black tight jumpsuit that […]
3 o clock in the mourning,about to fall completely sleep when the shadow of a man walks through my bedroom,he walks and walks for minutes,a big shadow,scary as shit,dont talks or makes any noises,just walks for minutes.I am too scare to shout,my body is completely paralized,as if the venom of the black spider dances through my blood,what if that spectral shadow is evil,i watch it for minutes just walkin,paranoid like if he is waiting or searching for someone,then the worst part of the ritual that starts at least one day per moth starts.The entity sits in my bed right beside my feet and starts to […]
This is all my words. Here it goes hope you enjoy…
I’m drowning in the darkness of my bloody lost soul
freezing and falling through this endless black hole
I can feel it all my blood is raining and the knife is sawing
but none of this will help the frostbite in my mind start thawing
I feel forzen isolated broken and alone as my depression leaks from parts unknown
Maybe from my slit wrists deep down to the bone
cuts and scars on my body never to be shown
So insecure and emotional it makes me cry
To the point where I lay in bed and pray […]
March, August first.
Another block.
If by chance, by tomorrow night.
I thought, now all that is left.
To the death.
Rendered in shredder.
There are no souls on the black side.
Like the bat, face your fears.
No matter, I will go.
From underneath.
Drag my own chain.
Rubble, run away to zero.
The table and the plant, welcomes.
From the ground, the old man says.
There’s yellow-***.
Tourbillion, the air disperse.
I was never there, my life never existed.
The forever melancholy.
To destroy “Babylon.”
Grace of death; resurrect.
Welcome to the funk.
The thing I really don’t understand is why certain people on this planet have the indecency to bring other people down. Whether it be there music choice or fashion sense or whatever you can judge on. Believe me when I say i’ve been bullied but i’m not to sad or upset by it because those people that bullied me made me hold my head up a little higher. You will not kick me down because while your over there talking about me and getting these nasty ugly rumors out of your mouth just know that i’m not worried about a damn thing you have to […]
This is my life
This is my soul
Full of sadness and dark
Always breaking and falling apart
With this bitterness I can’t, take out of my heart
It’s all dark
All dark inside here
All my lights have gone off
And I can’t see anything
But this darkness inside me
This is my heart
This is my reality
Full of hurt and black
Always falling down and cry
With this sorrow I have inside
It’s all dark
All dark inside here
All my lights have gone off
And I can’t see anything
But this darkness inside me
Will S.P.s resident Hamster Hole Extraordinaire “Thanatos” persue his newly discovered RAW GENIUS rap skills and TASTY hard-hitting lyrics all the way to the TOP? Recent Vegetable HATE themed slurs and Hard-Hitting innuendo about “Peacenicks” and “Treehuggers” are igniting flames of controversy.The word in the SP backalleys, among the gallows-humor Elite ,and the UltraNeurotic underground IS that EVERYBODYS favorite GrumpyGus is just engaging in some diversionary Shit talking BECAUSE of a contentious story with several conflicting versions.Our most reliable source tell us:T-Hampster(still ironing out the rap name…T-Hole? Are you creative?-postt all your great ideas!)) He was sexually assaulted while hiking naked with nothing but a […]
the lawn seems empty
the sky looks clear
the imminent danger
seems no where near
someone steps out
gun in hand
somebody runs
somebody stands
no one seems phased
he loads the gun
why do they walk
why don’t they run?
the sky turns red
and so does the road
somebody screams
as the blood starts to flow
the laws have crumbled
it’s a free for all
black is the trend
and decency falls
corpses lay mangled
in allies and streets
laying in stacks
and on the concrete
hanging from streetlights
and hanging from trees
nobody cares
as long as they bleed
if someone’s not hanging
they’re hanging others
from children and […]