My social isolation has increased since I entered my thirties two years ago. I have been single for some time. My friends have all settled into marriage and are now beginning the project of making babies. As they develop, I’m left behind. The more I stagnate, the more they pity me. The more they pity me, the less inclined they are to spend what little spare time they have with me. Exchanges become awkward. The result is that I’m not stagnating, I’m regressing. My alienation from others is cresting into hatred. I was raised and still live in NYC, where extreme privilege is now always […]
Tag:
Boston
I was going to kill myself. I was going to just jump off a cliff in my home town. I had the gut to do it too. But my mom cancelled my fucking flight to my hometown.
I was so happy that I was going to see my family before I died. I didn’t want to see my adoptive mom before I killed myself, but she had to mess everything up. I hoped for a miracle that would stop me from killing myself, but not THIS. I wanted something happy to make me feel good and second guess my plans. But she cancelled my flight.
I really hate […]
i haven’t cut in 5 months. sometimes i burn myself, punch things, smash my head on my bed frame; but it feels different to me. it’s like cutting seems like a waste of time to me now because it’s not bringing me any closer to death and i just have to stare at it after. my art show is getting closer and i just found out that one of my favorite musicians is coming to boston in august… that’s something to look forward to if i’m alive. i don’t really know how i’m feeling. this is just a rant i guess. i still have no […]
Is any one eles is upset that… No ody could help save this Boston bombers … Why are they treating these boys like criminals and not like the victims of the worlds hate and emptyness…arresting this kid and putting him in jail or killing him is not the anweser.
Don’t know if it relevant, but needed some advice.
I just got back from Boston. I live in Oxford, UK.
I am coming back to Oxford to face another problem of mine.
I have a best friend, we only be together about like 3 months but he is so nice to me.
A few weeks ago, I was drunk, really drunk. I didn’t remember much thing, apparently I texted him to come to pick me up. It was 1.30 am. He came, took me all the way back from the city centre to my room, put me in bed. The next morning, Â I found out about everything. He couldn’t […]
I can say alot about myself. I could tell you i’m happy and have wonderful days with wonderful people and everything’s going just wonderful. But that would be a lie. I’m not happy. Things and people aren’t wonderful. This isn’t a movie where the hopeless maiden gets saved by prince charming or something. No. That never happens and whoever told you that needs to get smacked in the face. At 6, i was mallested for 2 straight years. At 10, i was overweight. At 12/13, i had an eating disorder. At 14, i gave up my everything to a boy who never cared a thing […]