“Endurance” what does endurance mean? Hi everyone! I’m new to this site, but I’m sure we are all here for the same reason. We have suicidal thoughts or have actually attempted to take our life. I was diagnosed with ADHD at 9. At age 11 I was diagnosed with depression. I was never abused nor was I bullied in school, but I was always lonley when it came to socialize with others, I never thought that being alone was a bad thing. I actually liked being alone, but I came to realize that I had no friends. I have a family who cares A […]
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I went to doctors yesterday and have gota mild eating disorder because I have a fear of gaining weight 🙁 it’s kinda hard cause I also have depression and get a lot of thoughts and everyday is hard. Social worker contacted me yesterday saying if I was safe and I feel the doctor has told them stuff I told them all my levels of trust have gone 🙁 I feel major down and I’m in pain a lot with my back and have cluster headaches a lot too I am also anemic so I bruise easily and I’m quite pale. I have about two friends […]
Hey I’ve decided the plan of killing myself on the 25th is not going ahead. In my other post I talked a lot about a guy who I lost only to find out that he got with another girl 2 days after we broke up.. I was sad about it and it made me think that he couldn’t of loved me that much :/ it would of been a year I was with him but hes moved on and I’m kinda happy for him because hes happy.. I have this guy friend who’s like my bestfriend he has been there for me a lot through […]
So you think you have had a bad life? Well let me give you some insight on what a bad life is…I was conceived by a teenage girl with a teenage boy, of whom she does not know who my father may be. She had planned on having me in her bedroom closet, and then who knows what would have happened to me.
After discovering that my egg donor was pregnant, my grandparents forced her give put me up for adoption.
I cant ant say anything really terrible while I was a child, other than being molested by my “brother”.
I was a rather strong willed child, with […]
I believe i married the wrong boy. I hate his fucking guts. He is such an asswhole with no regard for anyones feelings but his own. I want to leave him but im stuck. only other option is to die kill myself leaving behind a beautiful baby. Why stay with him is the question i ask myself. I fucking hate this guy. Stupid dick. I wish i had the balls eboygh to completely exit frim this shitty earth. Buuuuuut no im a big fat scardy cat. This is bullshit.
Dreaming about having a boy’s body. Walking around with toned arms, flat chest. And I’m happy and free, ya know?
And then I wake up in a foreign cage. And the family thinks I’m a possessed “girl.”
Rather be dead than live a bloody muddy ruddy fucking lie.
I have a problem. The first step is admitting it, right? That is what they say on TV. So I am going to put on my big boy pants and fess up… I’m addicted to pills. Sleep aids, cough medicine, herbal supplements, antidepressants, anti-anxiety meds, anything! Let’s put it this way, if I am taking a walk and see a blister pack on the ground with one mystery pill inside, I have to restrain myself from picking it up. I’ve stolen medication. I’ve taken handfuls of it. I’ve lied to get it. I just can’t seem to stop. But it’s only because I a so […]
If you’re on this website, I genuinely feel for you.
If you’re suicidal, I genuinely feel for you.
I never used to when I first came here, a long time ago now. But I do now.
I know what that pit feels like. It’s very cold, and small and absolutely terrifying. And when you’re in it, that fear is very real. That’s the thing normal people don’t get, the thought of suicide to a suicidal person, 9 times out of 10, is absolutely terrifying.
Pain can’t be measured on a scale.
Suicides can’t be ranked.
A death should never become just another number.
But hell, what do I know? I’m technically still […]
then I could at least make money by prostituition… and I would be able to get laid… as an autistic boy i have no skills and cant make money or get some *****… nothing is in my favor..
No horny white boy, i do not want to see your penis
no horny white boy i do not want to exchange pictures
Yes horny white boy i do not want anything between us
No that does not mean come closer, be warned i have scissors
No horny white boy that does not mean i am a racist
No horny white boy this is not because your white
Horny white boy i wouldn’t take penis pictures regardless
No horny white boy just because your white does not make you right
Get me past blood
Past walls
Past meds
Past the next step
Let me go blind
To the crippled
To that hospital image
To the dark colors
To how I got here
Let me go deaf
To the loud ringing
To the insecure patient
To the crying little boy
To the prosecutor
Let me not feel
The needles in my arm
Your razor blade tongue
The gnawing on my bones
I don’t believe that dead people speak
Nor that prophets walk on water
That just leaves me with
All those years of scrambled nonsense
And broken Angels
Amen
Slit open my cheerful eyeballs and let the hidden pain ooze out
by Skeleton100
written by Skeleton100
Title says all. They don’t know what’s behind my blue eyes. They don’t know the troubled angry boy trapped inside this gross bleeding body
Bye
This is a pretty self-indulgent post, sorry. You people are hurting, and deserve something other than a selfish teen’s rant. Please stop reading if it’s wasting your time. It just helps to scream, sometimes. This really belongs in a journal, rather than a forum. Here goes.
I’m hurting others right now. My mother’s saddened, my grandmother’s angry, my aunt has lost respect for me. I’m dressing a certain way and it’s hurting them. My mom’s fighting an eating disorder and my guy clothes are bothering her – hell, I’m her only daughter, so that’s one more thing drifting away from her.
My grandma sat me down and […]
What’s worst, having friends knowing there there then them leaving you. Or never having any real friends.
Ten people in my world have succeeded – that double edged word – in destroying themselves. Father, cousin, nephew, friends, teacher, aunt. Two drownings, two by gunshot, two by hanging, one by jumping, three by medication/suffocation. Broken worlds left behind, but I know the abyss to well to blame any of them. Four men and a boy, five women. Ages 14 to 90. Into the dark. Never, ever far from my mind.
I am just going to kinda summaries my life I started hating myself very young I had nobody and when I did they would leave me because I was never good enough for anybody then I met a boy and thought I loved him but he ended up just using me and then now he tears me down even more than the rest of the people I now self harm constantly even though I’ve don’t it for a long time it has gotten worse and right now I feel everyone would be better without me
Ok lets get this started (warning mumbling) ok so im a guy and theres this other guy. So when his soppositly girlfriend told me and another boy her bohfriend is gay then she said no hes bisexual. My heart started raseing.. I was so happy but then felt sad becuz i Think she just said that for messing around. So ever since that i just cant stand the earg to just ask him. Aghhh i new him since 4th grade im in 8th grAde. Im bi too so what should i do
Hi, I am a typical high schooler. Im apart of my schools band. I love it at times. In the seventh grade I was bullied to the point of suicidal thoughts. I was put in the hospital. My parents say I only did it for attention. I ddnt. I was really sad and saw no reason tl live. Back in may, I was hospitalized for attempted suicide. I had got in a lot of trouble for something I didnt do. I felt like my parentd hated me. They even asked around for boarding school. They want me to be perfect. Im a teen, I make […]
I’ve had a pretty rough life. From the time I was born I could tell I was unwanted. My mom and dad went to work and left me with the baby sitter day after day. They’d just come home, not even glance at me, and go to sleep. I didn’t mind that though. As long as my parents were asleep they weren’t fighting. Their fights were bad. They would yell, scream, kick, and fight. It was awful. I can remember countless nights where I would hide under my bed behind my box of hotwheels praying to whatever god existed that they would just stop fighting. […]
we are all humans we all make mistakes and learn from them ,but sometimes our big mistakes can lead us to depression . sometimes there are some mistakes that you can’t fix them and when you think about it you feel guilty and you start to hate your self!!!. but you can never fix a mistake by a bigger mistake (you can never fix your mistake by suicide).sometimes you really enjoy your time while making a mistake and you feel proud but we don’t know that this feeling will change and will regret it . and whenever we remember our mistake we start crying or […]