My Mistake!!!

dear gabreialla, my ex-wife and i divorced after a 28 year relationship. it was a violent, contentious, abusive relationship. both sides equally guilty. when asked why i divorced her,i answer with “because i love her” and i do. i want her to be happy and enjoy life. that was not possable with me. now we are both lost in that limbo space. all we have known for 30 years is each other. so now, as i get used to being all alone, i have decided to opt out of the love game. i do not want to love another person like that again. nor do i think i will be able to.its still strange being able to go and do without having to ask anybody. pamper yourself. i found a hot bubble bath with some good chocolate works wonders. try new things that you always wanted to do. in my case, im wanting to learn how to snowboard. lol. beiieve me, this old man on a snowboard would crack up the most depressed person. laughter is healing. learn to laugh. yeah, it takes work and practice, but can be done. i know cause i laugh at the most stupid things. usually at me. do not let another person dictate your life for you. you are capable of making your own decisions. if a person REALLY loves you and cares for you,they will work with you and help in a shared relationship, not play emotional and mental games with you. we tried for so long to have the normal, happy, family.it didnt work. now that we are apart, all of us, in a way, are happier. yes, the pain of another failed relationship is their, yes, i went suicidal, yes, i made all the standard mistakes. but NO, i wont go back to what was. neither of us was happy, and i truly want her to be happy