Yesterday I was told by my last close friend that her mom doesn’t want me coming over to her house anymore and I don’t know why its like she doesn’t trust me. Right now I just don’t know what to do because all my other friends have gone of to varsity and I’m just at home feeling like a piece of crap. My parents aren’t paying as much attention to what’s going on with me as they should because I’m really losing it. I want to just shoot my self in the head and just end this misery because I’m literally dying inside…I have no-one…everyone […]
just a short poem I found. I can’t imagine how heart broken and sad the author must have been.
WHEN I am dead and over me bright April
Shakes out her rain-drenched hair,
Though you should lean above me broken-hearted,
I shall not care.
I shall have peace, as leafy trees are peaceful
When rain bends down the bough;
And I shall be more silent and cold-hearted
Than you are now.
i need you
but i can’t tell you that
i need you to be here
but you’re busy
but i need you to comfort me
but you’re busy with important things in your life
i need you to be here
like you promised
you promised that you would be there
but you’re not
and now i feel broken
i don’t know
maybe i deserve it
maybe im not that important
i guess im not
i don’t know your side of the story
but i need you
but you aren’t here
you broke your promise
that you’ll be there for me
where are you now?
broken
i feel broken
i feel in pain
all i want to do
is be numb
so i cant feel the pain
just be numb.
Hi Guys,
It’s day 12! Woo!
So today was a snow day for my school. Which is great! So my friend and I went to a humongous library!!! It was amazing! I love books and libraries and it’s just gah! So that was awesome. I was feeling great. I was feeling happy for once. Then my sister had to go and ruin it. She threatened me again. *sigh*
Let’s start from the beginning. I woke up late today. (woo!) At around 10:30ish. I got up. Read a little. I did have breakfast/brunch. đ It was pancakes. Then I started talking to one of my friends and […]
maybe it does matter
that im broken
and sometimes very lonely
maybe it does matter
that i want to die
and sometimes i think i deserve to
maybe it does matter
that when i say im fine that its a lie
and in reality im so far from fine
maybe it does matter
that some people care about me
and others just hate me
maybe it does matter
that i should live
and not die
maybe it does matter…
but who knows?
maybe it doesn’t.
maybe it doesn’t matter that im broken
that im alone
that i want to die
that im not fine
that people care about me
that […]
Hey, how are you?
I know I have probably stuffed everything up between us but I didn’t know who else to talk to. No one understands me. I feel like letting you go was probably a bad idea but I know it was for the best. I’m gunna be honest here I just don’t think you were as into it as I was, and thats okay. But I really hope we can be friends.
I have no one to talk to. And today has been really bad. I stayed home from school and I was just thinking and thinking about Sam about you about everything […]
My best friend tried to commit suicide in January 2012.
Again in May 2012.
Again in September 2012 because of a fight we had.
Her family threatened to sue me if I ever talked to her again.
Me and her made up at the beginning of this summer.
Even when we were still on the outs, I was there to help if she needed it. ĂÂ I don’t know if she knew that.
I’m just so tired of suicide.
She has me. ĂÂ I’m completely devoted to her and keeping her safe and alive. ĂÂ She’s like my sister, and she has me on her side. ĂÂ She just doesn’t care.
My heart is broken from watching […]
If you really knew me you would know that I was happy. I was surrounded by happiness and laughter. Now I just want to wither away. Everybody who I was close to drifted apart from me and look at me like I’m psycho. If you really knew me you would know that I’m hurting physically and emotionally, I feel numb. Numb is really an understatement but that’s the only way of describing it. If you really knew me you would check my limbs for cuts periodically, Nobody cares enough to do that though. If you really knew me you would know I’m breaking down and […]
My body…
As i lay i count the amount of scars on my body. My broken cut ridden scarred body…
I start counting, and only count what is still visible after months to years of time for the wounds to heal. My scars all have a story of their own, and all signify a problem, feeling of hopelessness and lost cause, emotionless, a perfect day in hiding.
I count 10…54…71… 84 well that’s it for those that are visible in my shorts and cut off T-shirt. Most of them aren’t visible and overlap so it’s impossible to get an accurate count of them the ones that i have […]
Years have gone by already since I died. I’m not saying I’m a ghost, but I’m pretty close to being one. My family’s all buried in their graves. My step-father thrown in prison. And I’ve died along with it. It’s not like I want to suicide. Life’s okay. But I don’t see the point in living though. No one’s ever gonna be able to watch me grow up. The rest of my extended family has shunned me, and I’m an outcast to them. If there was something I could do about this, I would. I have lots of close friends who know my story, but […]
She woke up today feeling happy till she heard theĂÂ screechingĂÂ of her mothers voice. She had overslept. The kids were not ready for school and she did not have breakfast ready. She was so tired from the night before from having to meet two men.
She slowly got out of bed afraid of what her mother would do when she saw her. She raced quickly getting the small children up and on the bus. As they left she slipped the money onto the piano for her mother, knowing she was expecting it. She found it not quite fair that she had to sneak out of the house […]
i’ve been having this feeling,
this feeling ofĂÂ nonexistence.
itââŹâ˘s as ifĂ i’mĂ not quite here,
i have no purpose,
iââŹâ˘m nothingness,
worthless,
simply air.
I haven’t told anyone this just because it’s hard for me, and no one has really cared to ask but it’s okay. I’m only posting this here because we’re all alike and we don’t judge each other.
I never really have been a kid with friends, not until this year. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t because I was antisocial. I was and still am the exact opposite. always making people laugh, smiling, and talking to people, but other than that, I was pretty much always ignored, and I was “the girl who most people like but doesn’t have any friends.” And let me tell […]
I am mute, i just cut, and i feel like dyeing, why? Because my mom finally broke me. All i have ever wanted is for my mother to love me and care like other moms do, but i never get her love, when she was down and sad wjo helped her? ME WHEN I WAS ONLY 5, I DIDNT EVEN KNOW WHY SHE WAS CRYING AT THAT AGE BUT I WAS THE ONE WHO HELD HER TILL SHE FELL ASLEEP, ME! I WAS THE ONE WHO CARED WHEN MY DAD WENT! AND KMOW SHE TREATS ME LIKE IM TRASH!!! WHAT DID I DO!!! IM ONLY […]
At this stage in our lives we seem to be living in two different, yet unreachable universes: the past and the future. When we’re together, we often reminisce about old times, back when we were young and innocent and nothing bad happened that couldn’t be fixed. When we’re not reflecting on our shared history, we’re looking ahead to our futures; future plans and future goals and wishes and dreams. And to an extent, looking back and looking forward are both wonderful things to do; often they’re reminders that happy times did happen and better things may lie ahead…
But ĂÂ we only exist in those two states: […]
I cant take any fucking thing anymore. Everything in my life gets worse and worse. It all started when I dropped out of school when I was 15 (I’m 17 now) At the time I thought it was a good decision but now that I think about it, it wasn’t. đ I was getting bullied so bad to the point where I was too depressed to even go to school. I thought that dropping out would stop my depression, but it only made it worse. Now I feel like a fucking low life. I stay at home all day and barely ever leave the house […]
I tried, I tried to socialise.
You see, it’s my moms birthday party, and she has around ten close friends over. All laughing and joking. But obviously being me, the akward angella. I’ve got to sit in the corner and panic at every look.
How did I get this way? I used to be the glue to every occasion, I would dive right into the deep end, and frollic like a little child. Now, I’m afraid to even dip my toe in the water.
I can here them, laughing their asses off downstairs. And, it breaks my heart. I wish that I could be like them, I really […]
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