Should i make a youtube channel
about my bi problem or nahh
oh and im starting to take a interest in making
songs and playing piano but the problem
is that a piano cost a lot and i cant sing
what you think?
Tonight is really bad. I miss my girls so much. This is so hard to keep going through the days when the most important part of your life is gone, yet they are only minutes away and you cant go see them, call them, hug them, tell them you love them. I know ive made mistakes and done stupid things but I regret them honestly and truly. Doesnt that count for anything? I wish I would just die in my sleep tonight and be taken away from this hell.
Does anyone ever just want to be a child again. Just being a young little kid worry free and being happy as you were when you were a kid. I would give anything to go back to the days when I was actually happy rather than this depressed guy that cant hold it in anymore that I just want to be gone already.
im getting on a train today
the bells are ringing, the choir sings
i cant hear through the deafing noise
im no longer a child, i dont need these toys
they say to leave the past behind
the bells are ringing i step in time
whos in the lead? are we running circles
isnt that how it always feels
leave your troubles, the scar it heals
im departing on a train today
i dont know where im going but i cant stay
the doors they close
suffocation, is it a trap?
i leave everything ive ever know
but ive always roam, just me alone
what is it im leaving behind?
better yet what will come in time?
im leaving on a train […]
maybe it’s just me, it seems like more and more I’m thinking of how I could kill myself, each passing hour is another hour of pain. sometimes I don’t even know what exactly depressed about, I just know I am. I found this site by mistake by searching ‘how to commit suicide painlessly,’ but apparently that’s impossible. I’ve thought about shooting myself but the odds of actually dyeing are slim; and I just cant bring myself to it. I have also thought about cutting it’s supposed to help. right? I just don’t know what to do anymore, it feels like I’m literally living just for […]
I just wrote this for someone…….mainly how they see things looking out to the world…..
Storm in the sky,
Storm in my head.
Layin and cryin,
Tears soaking the bed.
Feelin the pressure,
Feelin the pain.
Heartache and suffering,
Call out my name.
I want to be loved,
Need someone to care.
Cant do this alone,
I need someone there.
Why so much rage,
Why so much hate.
Self destructing,
It seems it can’t wait.
Consumed by my feelings,
Consumed with the guilt.
The pain and the suffering,
Upon my life it was built.
But someone loves me,
I know that they do.
I know who […]
I want to end this
i want to suicide so bad
but apparently i cant
i just cant
Just because of
Christianity
They say you’ll go to hell
Thats just so stupid
why cant we end our life
its ours
The police puts u into a
mental hospital if they catch u
trying to attempt suicide
well maybe o shouldnt be afraid
this might be the last thing i write
so
im not scared anymore
so bye
how meny roads must a man walk down befor you can call him a man
my favoret song i never understould it not really but its about the vam war
but i still conect with it evrey were i look i see death
im sorry but tonight iv got to go to bed all the guys iv messaged im sorry i just cant to meny bad memoreys have come back tonigh
Who am i.
What am i.
Is any of this real.
I was brought into existence so why the fuck cant i feel.
I’ve thought myself crazy
Nothing seems benign.
I cant bring myself to distinguish good times from death that passes by.
It’s fake.
A lie.
It’s all just in my mind.
It started with philosophies but now i don’t know if i’m alive.
Who am I.
i just howled like a man on fire at the moon… it hurts so much not being abel to talk to her some times and haveing a depreshoin spike now is really not helping i cant even tell her i dont whant to it could hurt her ni just whant to crawl back in to the hole i came from and sleep for ever escape iv got to stay on my feet i whant to yell agine its like a fire i whant to run about the wood yelling and screeming my frustrashion at the world she will understand my paine the woods are her voce and […]
I went to college and did well despite being bipolar. I studied hard. Just to find out i cant get a decent job, or hold it down. Im now a loser. im going to die soon. no help is coming. suicide is my only option. my only option. my only option. i cant live with this shame anymore.
I am dying without her…. She is is going far far away from me …… i cant live without her …..i just want to die.. i tried to kill myself… but something was stopping and that her love…
Is there anybody who can give me some suggestion…
Is it wrong, should I push through this and give my baby a chance at life even though he wont ever know his real mommy? Baby isnt viable yet not that it makes me feel any better…I just cant last through the rest of my pregnancy.
Every day is harder to live..I already have everything ready for me to go..the dad couldnt care less about me, but claims to want the baby even though initially he told me to abort it. I cant leave the baby alone with him when Im gone, hes an addict and his new girlfriend hates me and will hate my […]
Tic tok
the time has come
with 1 swipe
i am done
my days are numbered
i cant keep running
i got to stop
no reason to live
while i am in pain
i cant contain
what i have unleashed
but at least i gave
a good fight
-brian
I think ive been lost for a while now. I finally realized how sad and miserable my life has been for at least a good 4 years. Ive been aware that im depressed following other illnesses by my doctor diagnosing me with depression and other mental illnesses, but it barely hit me. Hard. I look around and i look at me, at this 14 year old girl who cant find her face nor her soul anywhere. I look in the mirror and i see a girl who looks so lost, so tired. All kids my age, even younger or older seem to have things under […]
Why is it when people are happy
there are people who are sad?
why is there opposite happy and sad?
Why are there evil in the world?
Why cant i change?
why cant i be
why cant i be
why cant i be…
straight
why do i have to be bi?
why cant i change?
i cant survive… Im nog strong enough
im chrishton
A bisexual chrishton
well please help
please
please…..
-brian
p.s im 13 year old boy
im just stuck, stuck with my feelings, stuck with my own fear of killing myself, im too scared to do anything about it yet i cant put a foot foward to better my life, im just stuck… and i cant do nothing about it… here is a little drawing i did that express my state of mind
i constantly tell people not to hurt themselves or that their beautiful or worth something but yet i tell myself the complete opposite going through so much crap and yet i give hope to people but cant give it to myself. i could tell someone a million reasons why they shouldn’t kill themselves or hurt themselves but when i try and think of even one reason to stay here i cant. why is that?
Why do you want to die why not talk over some pie or we can just get high oh its illegal thats why lets just talk over pie lets forget about lifes lies, talk about the fallacies of our mind the pain that you just cant be left behind or maybe you can say just say hi dont be shy tell me why you want to die I kinda ran outta pie by the way my name is guy