heavy duty shit in therapy yesterday. rejection, dismissal, self hatred etc etc. my psyche is fighting tooth and nail to keep some horrible thing secret. what that is i don’t know. saw the shrink last week. another appointment and a new script. losing faith in pharmaceuticals. there doesn’t seem to be anything out there for me. left the office angry and upset. felt rejected, dismissed, discarded. why exactly i don’t know. the doc didn’t do or say anything particularly egregious. it was like there was something i desperately wanted to communicate but i couldn’t find the words. then my 20 minutes was up. go away. […]
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Change Of Heart
For as long as I can remember, I always thought that I’d live a shorter life than most people.  I’m not sure why.  But, it’s generally been a thought that has sit with me for many years.  I even had a particular age that would  come to mind.  Well, I’m that age this year.
So, I look at my life now and realize that I have several circumstances that are rather distressing. Â Certainly, many people would say that “life for you is not over” and that I have many options, many good qualities, things will work out, etc. Â True, people would also realize that I have […]