If you read the comments on Alan’s post last night, you saw he requested a picture of a china doll and a honey badger eating sushi on a surfboard in the desert.
Actually it was a request for Hazy, but I decided I would try it too.
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Tag:
China
What if I don’t want to move on anymore?
What if I feel so done with this world and life?
What if I dread waking up every morning?
What if I feel disappointed that I hadn’t died?
What if I am so hurt in this life that I can’t be fixed?
I can’t live like this anymore.
I’m so close to death.
I haven’t felt loved in months.
I have felt hated.
I’ve been hurt so much.
The young girl that was once inside of me
The young girl that was filled with hope
Filled with love and joy
The little girl that had a beautiful imagination
Yesterday I went for a walk, somehow I felt a little better. I saw some horses and watched them for awhile. Walked in the rain, but it felt good, at least it made me feel. But last night I looked on the internet and there is so much – so much of the opposite of what I’ve always thought was beautiful. Gentleness, tenderness, sweetness, paintings that move you deep inside, someone that would help a neighbor, little children being allowed to be innocent, dreams, words that carry weight, words that mean something. I start to think I wish something had happened to me awhile ago, […]
Im not going to say what Im going to do but I actually do plan on carrying it out. I honestly hope I am more afraid but I am just biding my time till then. It is not really impulsive as I am planning it out and will probably succeed. *Hint this is widely used in China and Japan. No sob story. Im abnormal and will never be normal. Tried. Tried seeking help. Tried psych medication. Tried therapy. Life sucked from child till now. I won’t grow, change or get any better. Doesn’t matter if I can attain higher socioeconomic status. We humans are social […]