I don’t want to die, but I made my mind: I have to. Unfortunately, I’m such a coward! It’s been month since I took the decision of killing myself. Months… And I keep postponing it, like everything else in my life… I would like it to be easy, but it’s not. It’s so hard to think to myself “This is the last time I see him/her. The last time I eat chocolate. The last time I take a bath.”, for everything…
I think that my suicide is so difficult to commit because I took the decision with my brain, not with my guts. I’m unhappy, […]
Tag:
Chocolate
So this is my first story here…
I’m 20 years old and have been thinking about suicide since I was about 7
(yes, for real)
Thing is, back then, I was also happy… The biggest problems I had were
“my brother ate my chocolate” and so on… And well, now, with getting older, encountering other *more severe* problems in life, they still don’t get to me in a way that I would want to kill myself because of them. As said in the title, I’m a quite happy person.
But in all these years, all this time, there is a constant need to end it all…
My urge to […]
Hi, I know it’s still a week away, but Happy Winter Solstice to everyone. I love this day because it’s the day in the northern hemisphere when the days start getting longer. Not by much, mind you, but a little every day. I am planning a party for the night before…. probably will eat too much. I’ve got a bottle of chocolate wine saved just for the occasion. I plan to build a fire in the fire pit out in the back yard and meditate on the solar new year, the darkness I want to discard, and the returning light. I’ll play my drum alone […]
Dear SP’ers,
Since I promised to my therapist I would not kill myself and suck it up for two months… have you guys got any tips? What can I do when I’m freaking out?
Things I do to cope:
call/text someone to get help/ distraction
cry the fuck out of myself
post something on SP
eat ( chocolate)
smoke
masturbate/ watch porn
cut, beat myself blabla..
sometimes: booze
I would like to have tips: I want to learn how to cope with shit a healthy way instead of fucking myself up even more…
Lots of Love,
Dawn
Maybe we should all just be having more sex and eating more chocolate. Really. (Unless you’re too young for the former in which case you should double up on the latter.) Sex releases endorphins, which are natural opiates, and chocolate contains several compounds that induce pleasure. Who needs Prozac?
I don’t know where this post will take me, but i just need to write to take my mind off walking to thesupermarket and buying a binge fest. I have already eaten 6 bars of chocolate, 3 packet of crisps (potato chips?) 1 tub of ben and jerry icecream… Been for a run, had an extremely hot shower and my empty void is still there.. Add to that the half block of cheese i just ate and the two cheese toasties that are cooking..
I am also going to my dads for tea, his fridge is stockpiled with binge worthy food…. Argh… Anyone got any tips […]