the truth about me is that i try my hardest to be someone im not. if i were to go in school right now wearing what im wearing now (leggings, skirt, sweater) people would beat me up and make fun of me. instead i go in there wearing hollister and fancy rich people clothes. i feel kinda stupid when i walk down the hall, and this girl comes up to me and says this (one example) “you know youd look WAY better with a bag over your head right!?” me: “i dont know..” Girl: “well its true!!!” *walks away laughing with her 5 best friends* […]
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im in 8th grade. i went to a public school but at the moment im @ a learning center. how was i supposed to go to school when, whenever i turn the corner im being beat up, threatened with knifes, pushed to the ground and called fat, ugly, whore, ****, freak, creep, big boobed peice of s***, lousy turd, stupid, dumb. its so hard to handle. the only thing i could do was run into the bathroom sit against the wall and cut. i made that mistake in 2nd grade. a girl told me i looked like a dirty cow!!! so i asked the teacher […]
The tiniest things can make people happy… so I decided to make a list of some of the things that make me happy. The list could go on forever, but I have school tomorrow and don’t have time for that 🙂
Things that make me happy:
-Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Bubbles in pizza crust
-Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Making others smile
-Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Baking
-Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Loose Pants
-Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Running in the rain
-Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â The smell and feel of clean sheets
-         Listening to the “I love you†of people on the phone with their parents or spouse.
-Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Running into the exact person you needed to see, just because they remind you not to give up.
-Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â The feeling of the sun […]
I don’t have anything to write, because I can’t put it into words. Â I’ll just complain.
I’ve pulled away from my friends, and I’m dating a guy that I could care less about because that’s easier than getting hurt.
It’s been a long process, but I’m finally at that point where I can really say that I don’t really have friends. Â I have people that I can count on, but nobody that I would talk to. Â People have tried to help me in the past, but they always end up doing more damage. Â And as for the guy, I don’t really know what to do with him. […]
Hi People! Again its me! no joke… i dont write that often x)
anyways! this night, high again but this time on speed… thinking about some things ive done
today for a change i went to my moms place to see her (ya she kicked me out umm.. 1 month ago) so yaa i went to see her to pick clothes and my guitar and also talk and mayb arrange things… abviously she talked to me in a bitchy way this made me FUCKING angry i tried to calm down but i started replying back in a stupide way to joke around (btw i was […]
So my wife left me about one month ago. She was constantly lying to me. We would agree on something and she would do the total opposite. I would ask her question and know she was lying.
She is 10 years younger than me….and I had more wealth when we got married. She now makes more money than me. She also sign pre-nup before we got married. I brought a house with the money i sold from my apartment and the house is under my name.
Well fast forward a year later…she tells me that she want the house under her name and she won’t help with […]
I never understood why I would one minute be unbelievably happy and the next minute be crying for no apparent reason..
It all started on a Monday after school, which is another reason life had been unbearable. No matter where I went I was the school whore..or at least the freshman whore. But back to that Monday night, my cousin who’s also my best friend was over spending the night. We were picking out clothes to wear for the next day at school. Then my mom came home, she was obviously stressed and started yelling at me. Next thing I know we’re screaming bloody murder […]
I never understood why I would one minute be unbelievably happy and the next minute be crying for no apparent reason..
It all started on a Monday after school, which is another reason life had been unbearable. No matter where I went I was the school whore..or at least the freshman whore. But back to that Monday night, my cousin who’s also my best friend was over spending the night. We were picking out clothes to wear for the next day at school. Then my mom came home, she was obviously stressed and started yelling at me. Next thing I know we’re screaming bloody murder […]
Listening to the music that I did when I cut, is like revisiting a dream you haven’t dreamnt. It seems so familiar, yet you aren’t sure it even happened becuz, well for whatever reason.
Clothes is the same thing.
And remembering cutting, is just so weird.
Its like someone was filming me but through my eyes, and I watch that movie. Not remember the memorie.
Anything cutting or depression related is like that.
All the people that know me think that I have a “good life” . Yes, I do have the “good life” yet I feel so unhappy and guilty living it. The parents who love me and who provide everything as much as they can and little brother I adore the most, even with them I feel somehow hopeless. I pity them. I pity myself even more. Theres nothing to badmouth about my life, I`m considered to be the luckiest kid because my parents dont do drugs, there is  roof over my head and food in my plate, good school, good clothes etc.
The friends who are not in […]
one day for sure. i will. i will die at my own hands. Why shouldn’t we be able to pick when we want to die? I think we should. Its our owN life not someone elses. We wouldn’t be harming anyone. Only temporarily. I want to die so bad sometimes. I hate when people(teachers mostly for me) mention suicide and laugh about it and stuff. I Hate that. They shouldn’t be saying things that can hurt someone emotionally. I get affected by people who say certain things. Maybe its just because I have the desire to die and I’d actually consider myself suicidal. But I […]
Okay so most of you guys see me posting storys of how i hate living but not really knowing why.well here you go starting when i was in kindegarden i got picked on in school but from there all the way up to 6it was only about my hair and clothes i was also sexualy abised by 3of my cousins and there dad.then when i got to middle school i got made fun of because everything my weight my hair clothes where i live how i looked etc.since 8th grade ive tried to kill myself over 50 times ive been in and out […]
I’m a 22 year old engaged mother of one. My family takes care of my son and I entirely. I own a home, a car, I have food in the fridge and the lights are on.
I have failed at everything I’ve ever tried. I only graduated HS because my dad put me in a lock down boarding school where I didnt have a choice other than to graduate. I recently got kicked out of a school I’d been working 3 years to get into due to my anxiety/having to take medication for said anxiety.
I cant keep my house clean, I cant keep my kid happy, […]
Okay, so I’m starting a new thread because I was hijacking someone elses with my problems and that’s not fair at all, I feel really bad about doing that. I’m sorry.
I basically wrote my story in a comment so I’ll just paste it here and explain a little more.
Such a long story.. I was so desperate last night. I still am and I don’t know what to do. I’m 20 years old, still living at home and I don’t have a job. My biological dad killed himself as did my uncle, we were very close. My mom, who has been married to another man for […]
My thoughts of suicide started when I was 13 years old.
 I made a friend through a connection with another friend, and she was awesome (at first). I found out a month into our friendship that she did drugs. I encouraged her to stop, but since she was 5 years older than me she was too self- absorbed to listen. So, one night she slept over my house, and curiosity got the best of me, and I tried the drugs. It was… wonderful, to say the least. So more ‘sleepovers’ were planned afterwards. If I can recall correctly, it was about the third time she slept […]
Since I keep coming back here, I have to throw in my cent and half. I’ve noticed a couple of things, before I go into my horrible depths of self-pity… First, I thought I was the only one who wrote with proper grammar. Gosh, does it sound horrible that I would notice such a thing when I’m low enough to even be on this website? But honestly, I’ve barely known what people were talking about when I’ve read other forums on random things. Please, any grammar dorks on here, go to yahoo! answers with a red pen and you’ll come back satisfied. But I can understand […]
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