You would think it doesn’t hurt anymore. When people come in my life, gain my trust and friendship, then rip away a piece of me as they walk away like I never meant anything to them. But the truth is, it hurts so much more each time it happens. It hurts so bad that I feel numb until another part of me disappears. It hurts so bad because of the feeling that I only ever made friends from pity and I cared about them more than myself. It hurts so bad that it puts me almost to tears, but then a dark part of me […]
Tag:
Comatose
   Something that I’ve learned recently is that when somebody very close to you passes away, the process of grieving that we human go through never really goes away and it can come back at any moment and smack you down hard.
Â
    On July 24th 2008, the day after my 23rd birthday, my dad was diagnosed with ‘Small Cell Lung Cancer’ and it was devastating to my family. He’d had a pain in his shoulder and when he had gone to the doctors they suspected pneumonia. With the confirmation of cancer, he was told they could not cure it but could prolong his […]
As I sit before my computer alone for the second day in a row, the sun shines brightly outside. I realize now that the suffering i’m about to undergo is irrational, but is it truly irrational to want to voluntarily give up life for peace? The method of giving up drinking and eating will end my life in the course of 10 days or more, during this time I will experience coming to terms with myself as the pain in my stomach slowly claims my life. I know that there is no way to write final words without them seeming dramatic or attention-seeking. A long […]