I hope this will bring comfort to someone the way it did for me
As I walked home today, I realized that me–and people like me–are like lonely rocks that sit unmoved in a river. Allow me to explain.
Imagine life and all of it’s interactions–people growing up, becoming influenced, learning, meeting other people, having kids, influencing the world–all that stuff. Imagine all of that as a body of water, or in this case, a river that flows and travels in a certain direction. Kind of like how most people are; they just go with the flow and as a result, they are rewarded with being a part of a greater collective that supports them. Of course, the “river” may diverge […]
So many questions
Not enough answers
So many wounds
Not enough bandages
So many tears
Not enough tissues
So many pieces
Not enough tape
So many scars
Not enough memories
So much sadness
Not enough happiness
So much hate
Not enough love
So much hurt
Not enough comfort
So much pain
Not enough pleasure
So much negativity
Not enough positivity
I’m alone again
I don’t know when this will end
I don’t know how long I can take it
I woke up today
My heart was beating so loud
Like it was taunting me
Saying that I should die
Saying that the sound of my heartbeat makes people cringe
I try to look on the bright side
But is there on anymore?
For the occasional sunset or sunrise there really isn’t a bright side
The person I fell for will never like me back
The people I give love will never truly love me back
The people I comfort will never really comfort me back
I just want a Prince charming
or even someone that isn’t harming.
Just someone to ten my heart
and someone to stop me from tearing apart.
I don’t want a tiara or a crown.
Just some happiness when I’m down
or just a smile on their face
But I know that’s not the case
Someone that will trust me
And someone who will believe me
Someone to share a genuine a smile
To comfort me all the while
A person who doesn’t care about my past.
A relationship that I know will last
A person that understands me
And expects me to just be me.
Hi Guys,
How are you? How’s your life? How is your day? Don’t forget to comment down below how you are! I do want to know!
NOTE: Really sorry for this being a long post… I didn’t really try to… Writing is the only way I can get my feelings out.
How am I? Does it even matter how I am? Does it matter? Maybe it does. Maybe it doesn’t. How am I? Physically? Sore. Bruised. Hurt. Scarred. Mentally? Broken. In Pain. Hurt. Scared.
My physical state… I keep getting headaches… Waking up this morning I hit my head on my wall and it hurt like crazy, but […]
Why do you care?
Why do you stay here?
Why do you comfort me?
Why do you try to help me?
Why do you try to tell me lies about myself?
Why do you try to prevent me from cutting?
Why do you think I should stay here?
Why?!
i need you
but i can’t tell you that
i need you to be here
but you’re busy
but i need you to comfort me
but you’re busy with important things in your life
i need you to be here
like you promised
you promised that you would be there
but you’re not
and now i feel broken
i don’t know
maybe i deserve it
maybe im not that important
i guess im not
i don’t know your side of the story
but i need you
but you aren’t here
you broke your promise
that you’ll be there for me
where are you now?
I don’t want to die, but I also don’t want to be alive. I don’t want to be here. I’m not suicidal, I just wish I was erased from the memories of family and friends. I wish I would forget everything that ever happened to me and maybe I could start a new life.
I am still able to laugh and enjoy things but when I’m alone I cry and hope that maybe I will be erased from existence. I sleep when I’m at my lowest because the pain becomes too much, I take comfort in the fact that once I’m sleeping there’s a chance I […]
   Something that I’ve learned recently is that when somebody very close to you passes away, the process of grieving that we human go through never really goes away and it can come back at any moment and smack you down hard.
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    On July 24th 2008, the day after my 23rd birthday, my dad was diagnosed with ‘Small Cell Lung Cancer’ and it was devastating to my family. He’d had a pain in his shoulder and when he had gone to the doctors they suspected pneumonia. With the confirmation of cancer, he was told they could not cure it but could prolong his […]
My feelings about suicide after a beloved family member took their own life in 2012.
Happier Times
December 16, 2008 – […]
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