I don’t get high cause I like to,I don’t even like the tatse of swisher sweets.I get high to get threw the day.I rarely cut anymore but now that’s all I wanna do.Cutting when high Is like a high to a high.Without either one & someone not there Its like whats the point??I am by no means a strong person.I need an escape.Maybe I needa go home??
cut
Dad is back in town once again. And for the first time I’m months, I’ve cut just to get some peace. Sad to say, it no longer helps.
I despise what I am. I have broken laws just to feel pleasure. I have cut just to feel pain. I am numb, I wasn’t always like this but like many events it came with a revelation. I have no friends. They are not there for me even though I’m there for them. I can’t cry I’ve tried many times to make myself, though I just can’t. All people see is my smile. They don’t see me for what I truly am. Numb
I am a 14 year old teenager, depressed and suicidal. I know this may sound stupid but does anyone know any pills that will make me pass out if I overdose? I am not exactly trying to kill myself, just a way of revealing my pain to my parent without having to actually talk to them, but let’s just say I wouldn’t care if I died overdosing.
I know I will receive lots of “don’t do this” “you don’t deserve life” and “you’re worth it” but I don’t believe any of that. I hate my life and myself so much, I don’t think anything or anyone […]
So my ex boyfriend and me.have been talking. He always says he likes me and really wants to be with my but he pisses me off and I deny him. So yesterday I told him about my depression and he comforted me and even offered to bring a screwdriver to me because I couldnt get the screw out of my.pencil sharpner for the blade. He encouraged my cutting and now he got mad at me for asking him if he liked me so much why did he talk to other girls. He got pissed and now im.scared hell tell everyone at school about my depression […]
KK so im a shit person because i find it so stressful to make friends and when im in the process of becoming friendly with someone all i want to do is cut cut cut cut CUT so they can see and then they can’t reject me lol.
how fucked is that.
i fucking hate myself for even thinking like that
I’ve never been on this site before, but I don’t have anyone to talk to.
Currently I’m 34 weeks pregnant and I have a 5 year old and a 2 year old. My husband and I are having issues, He’s become harsh and uncaring about issues I’ve been having during this pregnancy. Due to this I feel as though I’m being pushed to break a promise I made 5 years ago. The day I found out I was pregnant with my first I promised I would never cut again.
Lately that’s all I can think about. I fantasize of the feel of a blade against my […]
I’m trying so hard to reclaim my mind from self harm. It’s been five days since I last cut. The first two were okay. The third hard after these kids at school were….. Well they were them. The fourth worse. I was at my best friends birthday party when one of our friends invited a guy. (It was supposed to be just eight of us girls) I was okay at first, then he got out of his car. I got a bad feeling. Immediately after he got out of his car. I was scared. I hid. With my friends I stayed the farthest away from […]
1 became 2, then 2 to 4. 1 cut every time my heart fell to the floor.
4 became 5, then 5 to 8. 1 cut every time I’ve experienced self-hate.
8 became 9, then 9 to 11. 1 cut every time I wish I was in Heaven.
11 became 12, then 12 to 16. 1 cut every time they were ever mean.
16 became 17, then 17 to 21. 1 last cut before my life was done.
1 cut, 2 cut, 3 cut, 4.
Loss of blood, my mind began to flood, as my life went on no more.
Self-Harm is like a drug […]
i don’t know what to do anymore, i really don’t wanna die, but i want the pain to go away. i just don’t know how to do it without commiting suicide. please someone, help me i really need help. but i don’t get any. people around me always just run away from me. i don’t know what i have ever done to them.
i normaly cut everyday but i’m trying to stop, bc i almost died once of it. i didnt meant to do that, but i was so angry at myself that i did it to deep. i really don’t wanna put myself in that […]
I found it so hard to get out if bed this morning. I used to consider myself a Christian. So I prayed last night. Because I feel like I am fighting myself. Too many times I am fighting the urge to cut again or to pop pills. I feel like if anyone can help, the big man upstairs can because if he doesn’t I won’t be here much longer. I am constantly trying to stay strong, but I am not sure how long I can hang on. Honestly, any night could be the night.
Last night, or this morning, I did it again.
I don’t know where I’m going. I don’t know where I’ve been.
I take a disposable razor, and work to get out the blade.
I let it curse my mind, and I let my sweet smile fade.
I take off all loose ends, and make the blade accessible.
Knowing what comes soon, what will become unforgettable.
It’s been a while since the last, will it hurt more?
Will I be able to stand up tall, or crying on the floor.
Does it bother you to know I’m not as perfect as I seem?
Is it troubling to wish that I could escape inside a dream?
As […]
i havent cried in over 4 years, but after she told me she loved him and not me, i lost it. i felt like i had no control over myself, i started cutting my hips with a knife, i stopped after 8. i cut as hard as i could. she called the police because she didnt know what to do. i had to lie to them and say it was a misunderstanding, but the moment they left, i broke down into tears. tonight was a perfect night. it was pouring outside, pitch black out, i literally stood out there for over an hour. now im […]
Never sat down and wrote anything before so I said why not I’m 36 blk m when I write can’t believe I made it this long life hAs not been to hard worked since I was about 22 Always tried to stay stress free just going with the flow of things this last year has been the hardest been out of work about 9 months lost my job like so many others then watched my self fall apart losing everthing but my self now as I watch myself go I guess it will be cool to go out on my own terms giving up […]
Tomorrow I’ll tell about my thoughts and my cut to the doctor.
I fear for the comment but I gotta do it. thank you everyone who gave me advice
Finally gave in to my urges and cut for the first time in a couple months; i feel so shitty but relieved. i feel so weak and terrible after i have fights with my mom; i guess im just feeling alone. name shit different day.
New dilemma. I had another panic attack today, while at work. I was lucky enough to excuse myself so no one realized, but I don’t really remember what happened in the 20 minutes I was gone. Later on I notice my sleeve is sticking to my arm so I go to the bathroom to wash it off, thinking it was juice or something from one of my customers…nope. I had somehow cut myself. For the first time, I carved “useless” into my skin. What the hell?
I’ve wanted to kill myself for the past 3 years. I attempted it twice but failed both times, the first time with pills and the second with a razor to my wrist. On the rare occasions where I feel happy, I get home and cut myself. It’s the worst feeling ever. Someone should put me into a coma, I want to sleep forever.
The feeling when youre holding a razor in your hand, tears pouring down your face and youre just staring at it… so close to relief, so close to that feeling you used to rely on. My arms are starting to tingle again burn and ache wanting to feel the slice of the blade and see the blood first pool then trickle down my arm. but he texted me… as if he felt the need to contact me. maybe it was a coincidence. maybe ill still cut tonight. god i really wantto cut but if he were here with me i would settle for his sweet […]