heavy duty shit in therapy yesterday. rejection, dismissal, self hatred etc etc. my psyche is fighting tooth and nail to keep some horrible thing secret. what that is i don’t know. saw the shrink last week. another appointment and a new script. losing faith in pharmaceuticals. there doesn’t seem to be anything out there for me. left the office angry and upset. felt rejected, dismissed, discarded. why exactly i don’t know. the doc didn’t do or say anything particularly egregious. it was like there was something i desperately wanted to communicate but i couldn’t find the words. then my 20 minutes was up. go away. […]
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i don’t always remember the days very well so when my psych doc asks  how i’ve been for the last week i don’t always know what to say.  i’ve realized that i can tell how the last week went by how furry my teeth are.  anybody else have any things like that?
im new to this so its probly going to be a hue rant. so much has happened and its so hard to talk about. i dont know how this is going to go but …… ill start by saying my name is kyle im 25 and live in DE. i guess the core of my issues comes from the way i was treated as a child, i came from a well to do family with two drug addicted parents. even being fucked up all the time they were loving parents who provided everything material i ever needed but the emotional support was hardly ever there. […]
I have always been a VERY strong person. I am the one people would come to for advice and for strength but lately I find myself completely without strength and it also feels like no one I have ever been there for is there for me now. I have rheumatoid arthritis and I’m 28 years old. I was born with the disease and my whole childhood was destroyed by the illness. I never had a normal life. So I grew up knowing how to deal with pain and suffering. However, I went into complete remission when I was 18 and my life became wonderful. I […]