all my life i have contemplated suicide, and imagined how much better off i’d be.. i really feel as if it cant be normal to wish you weren’t alive every single day of your life. with only a few half-ass attempts, i really need to ‘grow the balls’ now. believe me, i have tried all the outs. this earth just isn’t the place for me. it never has been. i am now facing serious prison time. and with a few county stays under my belt, i know that it is not the place for me. being mental and suicidal i just can’t handle it. i […]
Phone rings
Don’t wanna pick it up
I’m so scared
I’m gonna say too much
I tip toe around your questions
Why you gotta dig so deep?
Tears fall
And the glasses break
Inside these walls
The floor boards shake
From outside
It’s alright
Long as you looking from fifty feet
I been trying trying
Hold my head up high
I been lying lying
Keeping it all inside
Trying not to trust you, yeah
Take another leaf, I’m broke yeah yeah?
I’m done, I give up
I don’t wanna pretend no more
That’s it, so what
I’ve lost a friend before
Gonna say it like it is
No […]
your entire life your told your crazy, while the ***** telling you that you are, is beating you to death in your own pool of blood,slamming your head into walls, floors,edges of bunkbed frames,doors,beating you in your privit parts, waiting untill your in the bathroom sitting on the toilet then she walks in and beats you there,tells you that you are nothing every single day of your life, meets guys off the internet, within two weeks, she moves in with them, and you find out , that they are child melesters, and your worker and your teachers that you tell every day dont ever do […]
Life was always such a *****, i was dirt. Every second of every day, i always ended up hurt.
I wanted to commit suicide more then ever, i swore my life would never get any better.
Things didn’t change, life just felt so strange.
I just dug a hole in my heart, let it rot and get infested with pure dark.
I was in hell, just rotting away. Then one certain day, [life re-arranged] .
IÂ got better, i smiled more. I opened thousands of new doors.
I got me a girl, fell in love. Then just like that, we were done.
I haven’t stopped smiling, even though my whole life, i was always crying.
Things got better for me, just as it […]
It’s coming up on the big day and for a little while I was actually able to forget about it…found meaning in painting again, in witnessing my younger siblings’ awesome potential and magical ability to just be happy. A beautiful couple weeks without any physical pain. Then everything rushed back in. Can’t paint, can’t write, can’t cook, can barely open doors. Nobody knows what it is and nothing has helped. Undiagnosable pain in my hands since I was 16. Â Nothing makes me feel as hopeless as this. Not knowing that I will never find love with a girl, never have babies or finish school, never […]
 To what_Is_Love13, the time will come when we shall all become angels,
just dont go on your own yet, for you are not alone.
what is love? love is you,
love is when someone reaches out and touches you..
~
Laura Elisabeth Rhodes
1991 ~2004
Laura’s Last words.
“I waited for my mother to walk in. “Laura, I am sick of running up and down these stairs,
now get up.” I would look at her
“What is wrong now?” “My tummy hurts and I feel sick”.
“It […]
Hi, I’m a fifteen year old girl and I have been through quite a bit in my life.. I’ve been through being homeless, abused, raped, molested, bullied at school, addicted to drugs and alcoholism. I’m going through a lot at this moment as well, I need someone to talk to because all the people I know are drunks or druggies. I’m tired of being around this, I’ve been living around drunks and druggies my whole life. Now I just lost everything because of drugs and alcohol. I did try to be sober a couple of times but I just keep getting sucked back into it.. […]
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