I dream of a better world then what we live in. One where people can be who they are. One where society doesn’t tell me I have to be skinny to be pretty, have to be mean to make friends. A world where people don’t have depression or feel suicidal or any other mental disorder because the worlds so perfect that its sickening. I want to be able to walk outside and not get robbed or go to school and not get shot. But I know that will never happen because it just my… DREAM
Since I could remember, I’ve wanted to be a singer. I’ve never taken classes of singing lessons. I simply just, did it.
If you guys could check out my video, It would mean a lot.
I know that I am a big person, and I’m ugly and fat, but please just atleast listen to it and share it on facebook or twitter.. It would mean the world to me.
Sometimes, I wake up and the sun is shining. Everything is calm. I can listen to the noises of birds chirping and people who are happy. Other times, I am tired. I feel like I am being held back by a bag of bricks hanging on my back. Somedays I just don’t feel like it. I’d rather stay in bed and do nothing at all. Nothing at all. Stay by myself and contemplate life lying on back like there is nothing else more important to do. Somedays I just don’t see the point. I have always seen beyond me. I have always dreamed of what […]
Tonite…Â I gave up…Â I am empty now…Â It happened right in front of you..Â It all went away, and I could see things clearly, without emotion…
Tonite..Â I accpted that I am not good enough, and I never will be.. That I never have been, It’s nobody’s fault but mine..Â I dont know why.. I have always tried..Â I have always failed.. I dont know why, but it doesn’t make sense to blame anyone else.. It can either be a fault in me that everyone else sees, or everyone but me is at fault..Â whether I see it, know what it is, or accept it, […]
Hush a bye baby, Now close your eyes
And dream of broken butterflies
That tore their wings upon a thorn
You know the pain that they’ve endured
So soft, so sweet
Cut your wrists and bleed on the sheets
Slashing and thrashing
While black tears flow
Crimson stains now mark your pillow
Smiling cutter no more, no less
As you beg for the kiss of death
Dreaming slicer all tucked in bed
It will be long past morning
Before they realise your dead
Rock a bye baby, and say goodbye
Let’s fly away with the butterflies
Just one more slash
Down comes baby
I am a dreamer, I admit. I am not always realistic. That’s a fact. I followed my dreams. I was never afraid to chase after the crazy ideas in my head. The processes has been painful. I have failed again and again, yet managed to slip by. I watch as my grades hit catastrophic lows and my social life deteriorates. All of my dreams are slipping through my fingers. Why can’t I do what everyone else can? I am intelligent. I am creative. I have endless possibilities. â€¦But that’s all they’ll ever beâ€¦ possibilities. While I could write a poem that would bring you to […]
My mind has a never ending cry for help. I suffer in silence and when I speak people think its just a phase. I hope they’re right, I hope I’m wrong. I always say there’s always a limit for everything, it’s come to the point where the most important people in my life have turned their back on me. It feels nasty, I have disgust in my heart and tears want to flow through my eyes, I want to scream through the walls, yet I keep myself from doing this, I don’t want people seeing my pain, my suffering. So I keep that anger, that […]
A dreamer Â is the the worst, a waste, a parasite. I will romanticise my life no more. I have alienated myself. I cant relate. I rejected the only one who has ever loved me several years ago, she is now married and has forgotten me. I have found out that love happens once. I will die alone. I have failed at everything. People disappoint me. IÂ disappointÂ myself. I wish the tide would take me. I am only happy when I am asleep. If anyone knew how I felt, they would treat me the same, with more indifference . Their lies are better than mine, more grounded. […]
Well I have been listening to a lot of George Watsky since I came back from VidCon… In case you don’t know, he is a youtube poet/rapper. If you have a problem with bad words, don’t watch the video I am putting here 🙂
Anywhozies, it inspired some of my newer, longer poetry… Sorry if you don’t think it flows… neither do I! We can be thought twins!
Anyways, it’s just something I wrote last night really late…
They say: Come on,
Cut the crap,
Be happy you’re alive!
That’s where I stop and think…
What if the very thing that depresses us the most,
I don’t want to live anymore, it’s that simple…
I am a dreamer, and throughout difficult times in my life, I always had this light pulling me toward better days.
I am now 35, depression has always been a part of my life, and I am feeling exhausted.
I lost everything, I am left with nothing.Â Building my life again would take me an incredible amount of strength that I do not have at this point.
I know what is the core of my endless suffering: I simply need love.Â But that cannot be done consciously, and when I have truly loved, I have always lost.Â I cannot keep […]
I’ve never really understood things the way others seem to and I often feel out of place.Â It seems just when I start feeling good about life and feel like there is something I can really get behind and feel proud about supporting, I get shot down by obstacles and people (sometimes those few who are close to me).Â I’ve always had a view of the world tinted by dreamer’s eyes, and so realism isn’t exactly always my forte.Â I can get passionate about anything, but I can also get down and out about anything.Â At the drop of a hat I can turn from […]