I feel incarcerated

My mind has a never ending cry for help. I suffer in silence and when I speak people think its just a phase. I hope they’re right, I hope I’m wrong. I always say there’s always a limit for everything, it’s come to the point where the most important people in my life have turned their back on me. It feels nasty, I have disgust in my heart and tears want to flow through my eyes, I want to scream through the walls, yet I keep myself from doing this, I don’t want people seeing my pain, my suffering. So I keep that anger, that frustration, the sadness in between my lungs and throat. When people ask me why I’m sad, I respond with a simple stress, only if they knew the black hole in my mind which is taking too much space, which is taking the happiness and love away. It’s killing this mind, meanwhile my heart suffers rejection and hate. If people understood me, if I could have someone to speak to maybe I would see a light at the end of the tunnel. But I must keep this silence. I fear resentfulness, I fear being avoided because of this great unstoppable pain I have in me, but most of all I fear being told the truth, because its hard for me to get down from that dream-able cloud. I’m a dreamer and my only happiness comes from dreams, I day dream more in my day than breathing oxygen. You could kill my life, lock me away, but day dreaming is what keeps this mind and heart alive. The simple truth is that I don’t want to suffocate people with my pain. I realized that this pain I have in my life bites those who come near me, only to leave them with bitterness running through their veins. Alone is how I feel right now. Im falling in this deep black hole and I have no one to be there when I hit the floor. I’m alone and my life feels like a ghost town.