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Eleven Years

by ephemeropteron 9/2/2015

written by ephemeropteron

It was on this day eleven years ago that I decided to die. I was seventeen, and while I won’t violate policy by stating my method, the short story is that it was ineffective.

Ever since I was 12 or so, living has quite simply felt wrong. But I dealt with it. This fundamental issue was exacerbated by an issue that arose soon after. I had a really good friend, but every time she had a boyfriend, I got ridiculously jealous. Oddly enough, I always found a way to explain away my feelings. When similar situations arose in subsequent years, I concocted all kinds of ridiculous […]

9/2/2015 5 comments

Fucking fed up.

by TJ. 7/24/2013

written by TJ.

Eleven years. It’s been eleven years since I’ve had control over my emotions. Since I have felt any sense of normalcy or joy.

Medication after medication. None of them have worked.

Electro shock therapy. Gave me six months of relief before I relapsed, and my psychiatrist is convinced that the habits and anxiety and addictions that I never used to have before the ECT would have happened anyway. When I went through the treatment, I had no memory of anything for months straight. I forgot how to drive, where I was half the time, and each session was nightmarish.

Speaking of my psychiatrist, since I’ve started seeing him, […]

7/24/2013 0 comment

from feelinglost

by feelinglost 6/6/2013

written by feelinglost

hi,

I’m new to this site. I was going through a hard time and subconsciously started to look at suicide related links, which lead me here.

I’ve had depression, bulimia and other illnesses like insomnia for about eleven years now. Although I tried and failed to commit suicide about five years ago, I’m generally a cheerful person and eight years with a good counsellor has lead me a long way.

I still have problems holding a job down, but the biggest blow is that the one love I’d been with for five years told me recently thatÂ he is marrying someone else. I have no choice but to respect […]

6/6/2013 1 comment

I don’t want to die but I don’t want to live

by iheartequality1996 1/20/2013

written by iheartequality1996

So many countless times I have thought about killing myself.I wrote suicide letters after everytime I think about it. I have attempted it a couple of times but then I chicken out. I’m scared of death. I don’t know what Is going to happen to me. I wish I could be dead for a couple of seconds then come Back to see what death is and if I’m able to see things again. Will I see eternal darkness, will I be stuck in a happy dream? Or will I be reincarnated as someone or something else?

I used to think that being scared of death right […]

1/20/2013 1 comment

Unsure of what to do :/

by Bunny24524 6/18/2012

written by Bunny24524

I’m a monster. I destroy everything I touch. I’m a freak.

These are the thoughts that have plagued my mind for the past two years. It all started when I lost my best friend in 9th grade. After she joined band, we got into different social groups. I always had issues with making new friends, so I became her “stalker”. She began to distance herself from me, and I began to threaten to cut myself to get her to talk to me. At first the threats weren’t serious, but threats always turn into promises. When the cuts eventually lost its effectiveness, I began making suicidal threats. […]

6/18/2012 0 comment