Tag:

failed

Oddly Enough Still Alive

by hufflesigh 10/13/2014

written by hufflesigh

Short one.

About 4 days ago I ate 20 castor seeds. I kept them down for about an hour to two hours so they should have been fully dissolved. I peuked and had bad diarreah for about a day then the throwing up went away. The liquid poops I still have. And I havent had a solid one since. I know that its supposed to take a few days but it seems like its not going to work. Any body have any experience trying with ricin/castor seeds?

The stomach doesnt dissolve it as were in another form. We dont have to go into that though because of […]

10/13/2014 1 comment

Break-Up Letter to My Mother (unedited first draft)

by Engie 10/3/2014

written by Engie

Dear Maman,

As it has now been a number of weeks since our previous discussion, and you have not only failed to apologise to me for badmouthing me to your family behind my back, but have no doubt also failed to correct any of the half-truths and exaggerations you made in the process*.

In addition to this, you appear to struggle to consider the needs of others. For example, despite my pleading, refusing to attend my suicide-prevention counselling sessions because you felt stressed.

When I took the decision to meet you again a couple years ago after a long and acrimonious separation, I really wanted to believe you […]

10/3/2014 3 comments

Well here is my story.

by Hawk-eye 9/27/2014

written by Hawk-eye

If anyone takes the time to read this I really do appreciate it.

Well I feel as if the best place to start is as a child in my childhood I was a last born child having two brothers older than I my oldest being fathers one and only care and the second my mothers I wouldn’t say I was abused by them or ignored but when I tell other people about what happened with me they seem to think I was it was just stuff like my brothers do something they don’t receive punishment and I get the world thrown upon me and such and […]

9/27/2014 3 comments

Trying this out. Hoping someone is out there?

by Autumn Jane Sky 9/17/2014

written by Autumn Jane Sky

Hi. I found this site last February by accident and have been popping in once and a while to check out posts. Today I decided to register. Why so? I’m not exactly sure. All I know is that I’ve tried two ways now to die, both have failed on numerous attempts. I’m seeing a psychologist and I’m on medication to control my anxiety problems and depression. I’m 4’2″ living with a type of dwarfism known as achondroplasia. I absolutely hate my body and luv carving it with pretty red sketches. There are voices inside my head and they aren’t all that pleasant. So Yeh, I’m […]

9/17/2014 25 comments

a day after my birthday

by passionfruit3 9/16/2014

written by passionfruit3

Today is my birthday.im twenty two.twenty two and unmedicated and suicidal.but heres the thing i dont know if I’ll ever complete suicide.i tell myself i will and i even get as close to swallowing pills or standing on a bridge.but the thing is i seek help or i wait to long and help arrives.on wendsday i want to kill myself but my mind jumps ahead to overdosing and seeking. Help right. After.i believe a lot of this is fear based and this is a cry for help.i just don’t know how. To ask for it ecspecially seeing as the only help the er will offer […]

9/16/2014 3 comments

Losing it

by superiorClown 9/15/2014

written by superiorClown

The life becomes unbearably painful for me. I’m slowly losing it.

Everything was just as I always wanted it to be. That is, until the third year of college. I did two faculties simultaneously and I started running out of time, sleeping less and receiving not-perfect grades because of that. Then I failed one exam. That completely broke me.

Suddenly problems appeared, all at once. Problems with being gay and not accepting myself because of it (I never loved anyone and never been with anyone, I consider staying in closet forever), with trust, self-esteem, need of approval, enormous stress, problems with physical appearance, money, family and friends relations. […]

9/15/2014 3 comments

Can someone Strangle me?

by EvilKitten 9/2/2014

written by EvilKitten

Seriously. I’ve tried and failed to take my own life, and my family will hurt less if I get “murdered”.

I’m in California. You’d think finding a way to “accidentally” die here would be easier…

9/2/2014 6 comments

another day failed

by kateralia 8/27/2014

written by kateralia

Yet another day has passed & I have failed. Or is it life has failed me?

What is the point in trying if all you do is fail.

I’ll never have another partner, I’ll never have a family. I’ll never afford another car, I’ll never travel again. I’m stuck in this one place, in this glass box that I can see out of but noone can see me. I’ll wither away in this empty box, never having what my soul yearns for most.

8/27/2014 11 comments

First relapse in a long while

by I-dont-love-right 8/6/2014

written by I-dont-love-right

I even failed myself.

8/6/2014 0 comment

Contradictions

by sanfranny 7/22/2014

written by sanfranny

If you’ve ever tried to commit suicide and failed, the doctors tell you to spend as much time as possible with friends and people you care about. At the same time, we are told from every possible place – books, magazine articles, tv *doctors*, to cut out the people in your life who are bringing you down. There is no place to turn. This speaks volumes about this culture and society; it speaks to me. It tells me that if I’m a downer, people will cut me out of their life. That leaves suffering in silence. A 45 minute session with my shrink once a […]

7/22/2014 1 comment

A thumbsketch biography.

by endinsight 7/21/2014

written by endinsight

Nearly fifty years ago a young woman screamed and pushed and laboured for nearly fifty hours and finally squeezed out a dead baby girl. The doctors in attendance worked on the tiny body and forced some “life” into it. The baby girl has never forgiven them for compelling her participation in a life that has never fit. Although her parents did everything they could, she always felt like something wasn’t right. She had acquaintances, even a few mates, but not one friend – ever. She never understood the crowd and it never accepted her. Even when she gravitated to the other misfits as a young […]

7/21/2014 5 comments

I’m scared I’ll wake up….

by misunderstood67 7/14/2014

written by misunderstood67

I’ve already picked a date on when I’m going to kill myself. I decided I’ll do it by overdosing on nortriptyline. I have a total of 600mg and a bottle of red wine. Will that be enough? I’m afraid I’ll wake up paralyzed or brain damaged. I don’t want it to be a failed attempt. I hope it won’t be too painful.

7/14/2014 1 comment

heart on the wall

by stupidrain 7/3/2014

written by stupidrain

When you sort things out, when you sort your life, when you think this time it’s going to be alright, you say: you made it!; something awful happens. It throws you out of your course and i know these things happen daily. I just can’t stand when someone thinks you don’t care, when they think it is easy.

I am not making any sense but i am a little bit teary so i can’t find the words to describe how i feel. It’s always thinking about the future that makes me sad. I reached an age in which it is not yet too late to change […]

7/3/2014 0 comment

lost,empty,alone

by death101 6/28/2014

written by death101

3 failed over dose attempts, i tried again last night,

just feel so empty and lost,

without my only support (my nan)

who passed away about a year ago

now the time is nearing and its getting me down

having arguments with people whom i care about just adds to the pile of crap which seems to be my life.

6/28/2014 0 comment

I don’t want to do this anymore.

by needleinthehay 6/25/2014

written by needleinthehay

I’ve had mental health problems since I was around 10 or 11 and I’m 22 now and frankly, I’m just getting worse and worse. The medical profession have basically written me off as a time waster because of a few failed attempts and because I’ve ended up in a&e from drug and alcohol abuse a fair few times. Although I don’t suppose that really matters because with a condition like mine, the best I’m going to get is “learning to cope”. Like, all I have to hope for is dragging out the time between breakdowns and getting better at talking myself off the metaphorical ledge. […]

6/25/2014 2 comments

The Disappointment I am

by Alexther 6/23/2014

written by Alexther

It’s all too fucking much for me…I seem to fail at everything.

I failed in school and high school

I’ve failed in love

I’ve failed at sports

I’ve failed to achieve a normal social life

I’ve failed to continue my musical career because of being a pathetic,self-hating idiot

I’ve failed as a son

I’m only a financial burden on my family,who’s still keeping my useless ass in high school,and for what?I’ll just end up working at a McDonalds for minimum salary and spend all my money on drugs.I know I’ll just disappoint them,like I do with everyone…

I disappointed them when they found out about my mental problems…They wanted a normal son,not this […]

6/23/2014 0 comment

im a big looser and i want to hurt myself alot

by Death - joker 6/13/2014

written by Death - joker

im a big big losser , i failed in everything in my life . i failed to get a job even im an engineer , failed to get a driving lisecnce even im 24 years old but i keep fail in the exam. i failed in love and she cheated on me . i failed in my body and i gained 35 lb and lost my hair

how my life can get worse than this ?!?!?!

6/13/2014 5 comments

pointlessness

by robertpaulson 6/9/2014

written by robertpaulson

So, I’ve been spending the past 5 years of my life on a steady downward spiral. I can’t hold a job more than a year. Failed out of college, failed with relationships with both sexes, and destroyed my credit. I feel like everything I touch dies. I can’t get anything right, and its been that way my entire life. I’m at the point that I really don’t see the point in continuing to be another uncontributing wasted resource in the world. I keep thinking I should pull the plug on it. I can’t really shake it. Have you ever felt like you were destined to […]

6/9/2014 2 comments

I needed to be loved

by roseyruby 5/20/2014

written by roseyruby

the only memories I have of my childhood are of my father, telling me how worthless I am, calling me horrible names when I was so young. I was 16 when I was finally allowed to make the choice to never see him again, up until then court orders had me there. I was mentally and even physically abused for what should have been my childhood. When someone tells you something so often for so long you really start to believe them “maybe I will never mean anything to anyone, not even my own father loves me” I tried so hard for so long to […]

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5/20/2014 1 comment

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Failed attempt. Why?!

by bipolar_and_never_enough 5/14/2014

written by bipolar_and_never_enough

I tried hanging myself with a shoelace just now. I wasn’t off the ground, it was tied around my door handle and the other end my neck while I sat on the ground. I’ve even seen a successful video on this being done and I don’t understand why mine wasn’t successful. Anyway, I could barely breathe and I could feel myself getting lightheaded and my ears even felt weird like almost numb, but I sat there for a very long ass time and did not pass out or die. Wth! Can anyone explain why this could have failed? It was not bc I didn’t wait […]

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5/14/2014 6 comments

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