i think i took too many pills tonight. no worries–not nearly enough to overdose. i’m just a little pleasantly high.
i don’t really feel up to telling my story just now, just trying to vent. but i got a lot of shit going on. and i can’t get help for a lot of it. sometimes i think that maybe i don’t even WANt to get better. i am just so tired of fighting. and sometimes i think i will never get to where i want to be. I’m just … tired. and have a major case of the sads.
and my dysphoria keeps me up […]
Short-drop suspension is the way to go. Slip knot on the rope to tie it around my neck…That works fine.
…But I’m not sure how to tie the other end to something. What you guys think? How can you do that?
So I made a post of burial sites (asking which was your style) which I quickly learned everybody would prefer to be cremated. Â So now I will post the urns.
Or if you want to be scattered into a hurricane like clevername (not a bad idea)
Or if drowning and being digested by a shark is your style, that’s fine.
Or perhaps being shipped into space
Hey,
So this is my story of my Depression and search for help.
I live in London and when I made the transition to year 7 it was very hard for me as I’m not great at changes and my aunt died of cancer recently, so I started seeing the school councillor. So it was all going well and helping with the death of my aunt, but after about two year when I was in year 9 another of my aunts died this time it affected me hugely so my mood dropped, so with this I started self harming. So I kept up with the self harm. […]
Hi Guys,
How are you? Again sorry its so late… Well it’s really not that late… Only not really… It’s 9 here…. Soo yeah…
How am I? Does it matter? Does it matter how I am? Does it matter what I am feeling? No it doesn’t. It doesn’t matter. I don’t matter. Only you matter. I don’t. So yeah…. Um yeah…
Here’s a monologue thingie:
I have it planned out. I wouldn’t say goodbye. I wouldn’t tell you. It’d be a surprise. You would think I am fine. Because I am. To you I am fine. To you I am doing just great. To you I am perfectly […]
Hi Guys,
Sorry it’s so late… I just don’t feel like posting anymore… I don’t feel like continuing with these daily posts… I just don’t feel like writing things down anymore. I think it’s better for me and for everyone if I just bottle things up. So…. I think I’m going to stop… I’ll keep writing… Just not every day… If you didn’t see one of my last posts about this topic here it is:
ive decided to bottle things up again. ive decided that it doesnt matter if im breaking, broken, or perfectly fine. it doesnt matter that i want a hug. it doesnt matter […]
tempted
to write
my own feelings
but can i? no.
atlas i cannot write down
what i am feeling right now
why can i not? why can’t i?
so many things, people, cares, worries, frets, etc
maybe its good to bottle things up and lie
how am i? how am i doing? how are you?
i reply with, i’m fine.” i wish i could tell the truth
maybe someday i will be able to over come my fears, and tell
the real, down to earth, truthful, honest truth about how i really, truthfully feel
am i stable
no
am i okay
no
am i fine
no
im not doing okay
im not doing fine
must you be worried about me?
must you care about me?
we all know
im trying my best
to recover
we all know
im trying in my own way
to recover
we all know
we all have special ways
to recover
this is mine
i know its not
the best way
but its my way
and maybe it’ll work.
maybe it does matter
that im broken
and sometimes very lonely
maybe it does matter
that i want to die
and sometimes i think i deserve to
maybe it does matter
that when i say im fine that its a lie
and in reality im so far from fine
maybe it does matter
that some people care about me
and others just hate me
maybe it does matter
that i should live
and not die
maybe it does matter…
but who knows?
maybe it doesn’t.
maybe it doesn’t matter that im broken
that im alone
that i want to die
that im not fine
that people care about me
that […]
How could I be so blind? I guess I fell in love too quickly… but I’m fine.
Imagine where you’d be now If you only knew, the one you love is the one who’s killing you.
I trusted you too much, I know now that I should have kept my eyes wide open.
I handed you a knife and my heart, and now the dream is over.
I used to be depressed. I cut, and hurt myself, even thought of suicide because I thought there was no other way out. I know a lot of you will dismiss this post as garbage, it may even get taken down, but I want to help. I would know more than most that sometimes you just need to have someone reach out to you, let them make the first move. Now that I’m healing, I’ve made it my life goal to help at least one other person through what I experienced. If you want someone to talk to, let me know. I’m not offering professional […]
todays gonna be a good day. listening to the Bears v Packers game on R5SX. (can’t watch it in scotland) with my bowl of Lucky charms! which I havn’t had since I was THREE D:
and hopefully I’ll be talking to my friend jake (: he always seems to cheer me up.
advice to all of you. suck up the good moments like a spounge to water.
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