I was just reading through an online addition of the peaceful pill handbook (probably an outdated version, but oh well). If anyone has read some of my other posts, I have talked about how much I would like to use an exit bag. I don’t have any supplies gathered yet, but that’s because I’m trying to learn as much as I can about this method before I go out and do it. From what I can understand, gas is the most common “knocker outer” that is used with exit bags. I have considered buying a tank of helium or ********, maybe even both for good […]
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First Choice
eveyone tells me i’m a mistake to this world. maybe they’re right, i am. or im just taking things way to seriously but no one understands that words hurt. especially cause i’m really sensitive. people tell me a lot of things that i really can’t argue with. for example ugly, not good enough for anyone or anything, useless, stupid, etc. my bullies were the ones who made me hate my own refelction. and instead of solving my problems, i hide from my problems. i just hate to be put down everyday. everyday is just another day to wake up wanting to die and cry. sometimes i […]
I thought my life was perfect. Not perfect. “perfect” but perfect enough for me. My parents are annulled but it didn’t matter because I knew they both loved me. During high school I was in a great amazing place, on the honour roll, just got accepted into my first choice college and all the colleges I applied to in fact. My biggest problem then was a huge maybe relationship with my boy best friend.
That ended quickly.
And along with it high school. I was going away now to University. It was both scary and refreshing. I have had more things happen to me in the last […]
I hate my brain. I just thought you should know if your brain is telling you that you should kill yourself, you’re not alone. If your brain is trying to  give you images and visions of how great it would feel to tighten that rope around your neck and you know that its wrong, you are not alone. They’re really seductive right? These thoughts are the true “siren’s call”; a call for eternal peace and an escape from pain. I’m lucky though. I have a thought that I’ve trained myself to repeat. It is this, “Today is a test. Tomorrow might be a test too. But it […]
It’s gradualy filling up.My heart is turning jet black,I just feel it.It always felt so empty but now the void is replaced with hatred and disgust.Hatred for my own kind.Hatred for myself most.I’m such a trash.A trash that live in this dump called earth.A dump filled with being I consider trash as well,all piled up together.
I just can’t feel contempt,I can’t be happy here.The only thing that kept me here so long are video games,pathetic as it may.I’m tired of wasting every days away on those stupid games so my poor little self don’t have to think about anything.I achieve nothing everyday.
I just hate humankind.
I […]
I’ve got 44 days left to go, and I’ll be joining you. I am living my life until then as best as I can, savouring every moment. I’m even tempted to run in the local elections just for the joy of it. I am trying to fit a lifetime of pleasure in before I go. I don’t know what comes next, however that doesn’t bother me.
As full as my world seems, I am alone looking out over it. Disconnected from it. It doesnt matter how close I get to people I am so far away. People say they see great things in my future, I […]