Hate for my kind

It’s gradualy filling up.My heart is turning jet black,I just feel it.It always felt so empty but now the void is replaced with hatred and disgust.Hatred for my own kind.Hatred for myself most.I’m such a trash.A trash that live in this dump called earth.A dump filled with being I consider trash as well,all piled up together.

I just can’t feel contempt,I can’t be happy here.The only thing that kept me here so long are video games,pathetic as it may.I’m tired of wasting every days away on those stupid games so my poor little self don’t have to think about anything.I achieve nothing everyday.

I just hate humankind.

I hate those being that consider themself the center of the entire freacking universe.Destroying anyting as long as there is profit on the line.Self centered piece of trash that lie all the time and try to change you to fit their licking.I hate this society.Steping on people’s dream in the name of economy,using terms like “democraty” and “peace” to justify all off this shit.I’ve seen more dignity in the eyes of animal…More truth in the nature that is slowly burned down in the name of this god called “money”.Hate,hate,hate…I can’t connect,I don’t understand and I’m not understood by anyone around me.These people’s culture whose so called values are geting drunck,having sex all the time and act like hypocrites.

Why can’t I just relate to something for once.Sometime I envy the simple people that comply anaccept all the shit thrown at them just because well…”It’s life!”I envy the one that have found friendship and love so early in their life.I envy the one for who it lasted.

I hate this world.My only fantasies remaining are about offing myself or murder.I would be better off with the first choice.I don’t belong here.I can’t feel at home anywhere.I’ve been viewed as a freack for as long as I can remember.Hell the small comfort this site gave me is all gone now.Maybe I should stop comming here,it just makes it worst.

In about 4 days I’ll be off to Ontario.I’ll be 8 hours away from family or anything.I think that once I’m there,I’ll start planning it and if I ever get my pathetic self to gather the courage I never had all my life,then it’s gonna be for the best.This ugly world can burn when it’s done for all I care.