Last year me and my “best freind” became really close, for reasons that arent good but I’m happy they happened, we were the best of friends, I was there with her through a lot of crap. Then at the beginning of this year, she went back to her old friend, the one she got in a huge fight with, the one that ditched her for her boyfriend. Now, they are so close and I am just left behind. They never tell me anything, they leave me out of EVERYTHING. But I can’t let her go because if I did, I would have no one else. […]
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Trapped in the home of people who refuse to understand, who think my depression is hiding something, who think I’m lazy rather than my depression is debilitating.
I could take every type of med, go to every type of therapy, I could have sunshine coming out every orifice. It would make no difference.
Why? Because my problem isn’t me, its my mother. My mother is a cold, venomous, uncaring nag. She does not believe that depression is a mental illness, but instead views it as a weakness of the mind. She has mild dysthymia at worst and thinks she is the authority on depression. I doubt she has experienced a […]
I manage to log into my second Facebook account every other day, in hopes that my mom wrote me back. She does sometimes. but most of the time i have to wait for days before she writes me.
i don’t know why i try so hard, she never wanted me in the first place. she used to tell me she wished she had gotten an abortion, and some how i always manage to over look that. but today im just so so so far down in the rut i started realizing that this is what my potential life will be like. i cant manage to do […]
these days my mom is slowly trying to mold me into this over holy person, i feel like she is drowning me, an i am losing who i am slowly, while trying to please others ,an i feel like am at a constant battle trying to be me . So i just wanna say that life is hard but the obstacles we get through are what makes us who we are ,and dont let ppl change you cause in the end you will never realize who you anymore, and to all those ppl out there who are struggling stay strong, be true to yourself, dont […]
I’m never going to be worth anything. Why? Because I try so damn hard to be myself, but apparently that person is already taken.
It’s been like this my whole life. I wanted SO bad to be a horse vet, then a year later, my older sister declares horse vet as her career choice. All anyone talked about what how perfect it was for her. She’s SO good with animals.
I want to visit Ireland and Wales, where my ancestors came from, but NO. Coincidentally, my sister is getting an opportunity to go. I’ve wanted to go since middle school.
I want to work with animals for a […]
Today, I am full of angry thoughts. I just checked the gun. How surreal. It’s there. Several are in this house. Now, I need a bullet. 32mm. I find lots of 22 mm, but don’t think that gun is good enough. I’m crazy writing this. I know this is my thinking, my old thinking & thoughts that need to die. I am a follower of Byron Katie. She is a teacher of “loving what is” and this reality raises itself again & again. www.thework.org
I admit, I missed my medication for 2 days. I took it today and will probably be feeling normal soon. I’m so […]