Everything builds character they say, every little gripe and suffocation of my personal image will just mean something more in the end. I will transcend and be greater for it. What I wouldn’t trade a bit of “character” for something resembling happiness. I am 27 and still unsure of what I am here to do every little path that i stray across simply ends with me holding the bags and the jackals growing all he louder. I know that since most humans are wrapped in their own egos, which is not a condemnation of such because it is a natural thing and should be embraced, that they see suicide as something that more or less pertains to them. So when […]
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Gas Station
So I’ve been suffering from depression for a little over 3 years now. My Girlfriend of two years broke up with me well over a year ago. Sob story blah blah. When that happened I threatened suicide, cops, recovery ward for a week. A couple months later, police again, suicide ward. That was over a year ago. Today, and I am not shitting you I decided my life was finally just about turned around. This of course was a slow moving process. Very… Slow. Guess what happens a few hours ago? She texts me! I’m finally about over this and she texts me! After a […]
I am, aren’t I? I am going mad.
How am I feeling?
Absolutely, positively, maddeningly sad.
I went to the gas station by my house instead of having dinner, and spent the whole time asking myself a never-ending string of what if’s? Â What if all of this is a waste? What if everything is irrational? What if? What if? What if?
When they say “It’s sink or swim”, What if you just get the fuck out of the water?
So in depression is it really sink or swim? Â You can drown in depression, or struggle to swim away… Unless you get the fuck out. Take a […]