My ex husband left me back in September. Today would have been 9 years. I can’t do this anymore. It has been nine months since he walked out and I still hate everything. I can’t even get my self going enough to take a shower most days. I will go 3-4 days without one. I am still shopping online for my supplies. I don’t know how much longer I can take this or how much longer I can wait for this to happen. I have a general idea of when I want this to all happen, but I don’t have a definitive date yet. I […]
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General Idea
I just keep thinking about suicide. I don’t explicitly have a plan yet, but I have a general idea of what to do. I know we aren’t allowed to talk about this on the board, but even if we were, I’m not sure if I want my mind changed and I don’t want to be stopped. I told myself I’d give myself until I turned 30, but that seems overly generous now. I don’t know when, but I can’t see myself carrying on for that long. I’m not a human being. If I were, I’d feel loved and worthwhile. There would be a point to […]
I suppose I am doing this correctly.. I am new here after all.
My story?
It’s a little bit too long for a post that I have the patience to make right now, so let me just sum it up so you all can get a general idea of where I am coming from.
My family: I have a mom, who can be psychotic at times but a lot of moms are. I look at her more as a person rather than my mom. Sure, she might get involved in my life attempting to be my parent but for the most part she is just […]
I’m 19 now and I’ve been obsessed with suicide for about 28 months (to be precise :P) I don’t remember how it began… when I was 16 I started feeling depressed, literally because I hated myself, especially my appearance. I remember crying every time I looked in the mirror and crying randomly in public. I didn’t tell anyone… I don’t like talking about my problems to people I know well. Another reason I hated myself so much was because I felt so odd. I got so frustrated with myself and my inability to hold a conversation. I didn’t ever think of suicide at that time […]