Life is just so hard.. I don’t understand how anyone can do it with a genuine smile on their face. Do people really truly feel happiness? My life really isn’t that bad, I have both my parents who care about me, a loving boyfriend, and am currently in high school. It’s just that everyday is a struggle.. I wake up in the morning with such an empty feeling, like a hole in my heart, and I wish I could just sleep and never wake up again. I feel so alone.. I just want someone to talk to.. But even if someone is there willing to […]
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Genuine Smile
I enjoy life, but life hurts and abuses me. I smile and laugh at the little things, while being degraded and yelled at. I smile every day because I forgive and forget, everyday I am mentally abused and given a new reason to cry. However, I can’t cry with my eyes so my heart hurts for me in exchange for my smile. I laugh and things seem to fade away and release me from my worries, but he knows exactly what to say to crush me.  Everyday I trade my pain for a genuine smile, I let myself forget, I let myself go on without letting it […]
The more honest you become with yourself, the less honest you can be with others, because you the more you sound like a nutcase.
Wheeee
I love my bycicle, it’s so worn and loyal. Getting rusty, and it’s a couple notches too big for my size which makes stopping and restarting a hassle and the front brake’s busted.
I daydream about getting straight out rammed by a monstrous car (then again what car isn’t a monster? Is there something uglier and more insulting than concrete?), a mangled bloody mess of broken nerves and metal lying on the pavement, a brainwave sliced by a cog.
An acrobatic improbable tumble where […]
This is for a friend of mine, who had longed to leave this life behind.Â
Her name was Amber and she was a ray of brilliance. Her life seemed like any other. (not to say it was perfect. Her mum never had never any time for her so, she was at my house often. Once, we even threw her a birthday party because her mum had either forgotten or didn’t have the money) Amber was beautiful and smart, too. She was accepted into one of those magnet schools and was successful in her early years of school. She quit the magnet school, however. I recall her grades […]
I’d forgotten what it felt like – to be happy. I can’t even remember the last time I felt like this. Let me explain…
It was a normal day and I, as usual, was feeling my normal self ie. not so good. I was crying – pleading with the powers that be to help me – somehow. And that’s when I got the idea. I came up with a method that I think will work. I won’t go into details, obviously, but that’s when I felt happy. I found myself smiling – an actual genuine smile. Not a false one – not because it’s expected of me – but […]
In 7th grade I had the bestest friend you could ask for, but then, she became a band geek and she just drifted away. Then in 8th grade i made a pretty damn good best friend. But then high school came and my bestfriend went to some other school, and everyone just changed. I started to look at everyone diffrently, and all I saw were inconsiderate assholes. Then I noticed the shit my mom was going through: woke up at 5am, worked ’til 10pm every day, no days off. I feel so useless because I can’t do anything to help her. And she works her ass […]