I don’t really know what else i can do anymore. Cameron died almost exactly a year ago (September 8 2013) and I am STILL not over it. I’ve gone to all the groups, I’ve been hospitalized for PTSD, I’ve got a new boyfriend who treats me like gold, I go out, I don’t talk about it all the time anymore. What else can I do to make it feel better.
The thing you have to know is Cameron and I were very much in […]
I have always wanted a best friend, and the only thing close to that was this girl named Breanna*, but she got mad a lot at me for not thinking the was she does and she had another group she would hang around with and i dont think they liked me because in a way i was a higher class then them but i never saw people as classes i just saw them for who they were. Anyway back to my point, it is not like i dont have any friends, but these friends are more like, how would you put it.. acquaintance. Everyone seems to […]
I realize that I got ahead of myself in the last post, left out some key points…. left out reasons why. At this point I sat down in class, this stuff I have not shared….I had enough of being a freak show for one day. I go to school with about 100 students…. I am the youngest there…. only a baby…. only 18. I moved away from my family to go to school. I wanted to be happy, I was free of the shadows and pressures that suffocated me day after day. I wasn’t happy, I never was. I didn’t know anyone, so I didn’t […]
I used to be the most popular (I hate that word) girl in my school. & in the whole district. For all good reasons though. Like I am a fun person to be around & I’m just a good person. I have two groups of friends.. Well I had two groups of friends. The one group is all bitches & their cheerleaders & the other one is all basketball players.. Even tho I don’t play I still fit in. But in the cheerleader group I was friends with the one girl who was really annoying & one time we went to camp together & we […]
i think i must have already gone crazy. i am in a room full of ppl and all i can think about is stabbing myself or standing up and screaming at people.   And they have not really done anything to me – but i dont like people.  i feel judgement when there probably really isnt any.   I feel scorn.  I am never accepted in their groups.  i feel small and weak and like i simply do not belong on this shithole planet.
i am not exactly sure wtf anti-social means, but i am guessing i am it.   i wish they would just nuke the whole freakin […]
In my past entries posted on this site, as well as my facebook page and my website: www.nolenthebeckoning.com, I have mentioned my belief in man’s evolution from fire. I have received quite a few derogatory replies. Most from people calling themselves christians. To those of you on this site who claim christianity, I do not wish to personally offend you, however it is of my opinion that christianity is one of the leading religions to plague mankind. Most of christian history is written in bigotry and the practice of condemning all others…and when there’s no others, condemn each other. As with many of my perceptions, […]
Please log in to report posts