im a fighter. but sometimes the fight is impossible to win. there would be alot less pain if i just gave up but i find myself fighting until the end. i will fight for love, fight for my life, fight to win, fight to save a life, fight to start a new. but i get tired of fighting sometimes. i feel like i just want to give up and hide under my covers. i want to go into the cabinet and take all the pills and slip away. i want to snort a fat long line of heroine and cut my arms and legs, i […]
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Head Above Water
Slipping back down, still keeping my head above water, like I am out tredding water in the ocean. Today I had a thought that scared me so much I can’t even put it here, but it was enough to make we want to go check myself in and stay for awhile. I didn’t though and the thought went away hopefully never to return.
Hello,
I’m suicidal, I have an active plan and the means to carry it out. Â I really am just tired of life. Â I’m married and am concerned about the impact my suicide will have on my wife. Â I am all she has. Â Her family has basically disowned her because they don’t like me. Â I guess if I’m out of the picture, she could go back to them. Â I have paranoid schizopherina and major depression. Â I’m medicated, but its like the medication isn’t working. Â I try talking to my wife about my suicidal thoughts, but then she starts talking about putting me in a hospital. Â I’ve attempted […]
I became actively suicidal and very BPD symptomatic this last year. I’ve never really dealt with any of the b.s. from my past and it all seemed to come crashing down around me last May.
I don’t know there was any one thing that caused me to break, so much as it was just one thing building on top of another. Â Now I have an issue with keeping my head above water. Â I’ve managed not to cut since March, but the suicidal thoughts still come. Â
It’s bizzare that I have become this person. Someone who doesn’t think much of herself, does not value life, is very […]