is to watch a loved one slip away inching closer to death. Sunday night I watched as someone I loved struggled to breath due to respiratory issues. I watched their eyes roll back and their body stiffen and their lips pale from lack of oxygen. I jumped up the first second I noticed it and immediately called 911. I then carried them and placed them on the floor and did CPR trying with all my might to save them from death. I put an oxygen mask on their face and continued CPR until the paramedics arrived. They are alive but in critical condition and I […]
Tag:
horrific
I have been mentally ill for as long as I can remember. I suppose it really started somewhere in Junior High but being a surviver of some pretty horrific abuse, who really knows. I have severe Bipolar Disorder. I am not depressed now and rarely do I cycle that way. When I do its feelings of shame, guilt, worthlessness & an earthshattering urge to sleep. I don’t get sad. I feel a level of pain that is indescribable & that no one should ever have to feel. Mostly throughout my life though I have been manic. Not that manic that gives you amazing self confidence, […]
Hello,
So today was a pretty bad day for me. I got sent home from school because I couldn’t stop crying. Well, I told them the reason was because of a bad headache, but in reality I just couldn’t find the strength to get through the day. The thought of walking around and talking to people who I know don’t like me, the thought of simply being somewhere I don’t belong scared me. So I cried. I continued to do so until I got home where I finally slept. But my dreams were simply filled with horrific scenarios which I dare not repeat for thought of […]
Turn around and go home. Home, indeed, but not the traditional home as most people think, i.e. your literal home. This thing is broken. Turn around and go home. To nonexistence. Indeed, nonexistence would be a beautiful state to be in, if, in fact, you could even consider it a state of being. How do you even define nonexistence? No feeling, at all (mentally). No sounds. No colors, though I already know what that’s like. Nothing to smell, or taste, or touch. In fact, would perceiving the perception that you don’t experience any of […]
I’m not suicidal. In fact, I found this website by accident. I had no idea that people even contemplate suicide and it’s very hard for me to understand. No horrific event has happened to me, I went to a £15000 ($23000) private school in London and it’s because of my closed life that only recently that I’ve even reali(s/z)ed that so many people had such difficult and heart-breaking emotions.
Many problems may be hard to fix but could someone (preferably with experience) explain to me why anyone would ever feel it necessary to end their life.
Love makes my life horrific, I’m an Indian, I didn’t get love from my family when I’m younger it’s becaz of my father domination & I couldn’t able to tell to my father anything, I spent my childhood in my grand ma home, after death of my grandfather i came to my father’s home age of 13, upto that time I spent a silent life, after reaching my home suddenly it became violent, so I thought to have a love life but unfortunately I didn’t get that too instead of love i was been cheated twice.
I can’t able to tolerate the pain so long, this […]
The world is an empty abyss. My soul is simply roaming through it, without a purpose. I am a lonely, terrible soul, wandering through this horrific place.
As I lay in my bed, I gaze up at the ceiling, just thinking. Sleep seems to be my only escape from this world…if only I could sleep forever.
Two “poems” that I’ve had as my Facebook status.