Tag:

Hundred Times

Why?!?

by strangemusic 12/21/2012

written by strangemusic

I have died in my dreams a hundred times. I have tried to kill myself several times in my waking life, which seems more like a living nightmare to me. Â In all the 20 years I’ve lived I haven’t done a single good thing. All I have is regrets, though when I come to rethink the steps I took and the choices I made there doesn’t seem to be another way I could have gone.

I have been a complete failure since my childhood. But back then I took life much easier because my childhood activities took me away from all the bad thoughts and my […]

12/21/2012 1 comment

im sorry

by maxthebat 11/30/2012

written by maxthebat

my bf was going to commit suicide. we’ve always talked about it, but this time he sounded serious. he made me promise not to tell. he said he was going to write him suicide note and leave as soon as he was alone, most likely the next day. he said goodbye, and thank you for being an amazing gf, and sorry about a hundred times. But i was scared so i told my friend who knows all this and happens to be his ex. ive convinced her before not to tell anyone, but this time she said fuck it im telling, and told her mom. […]

11/30/2012 5 comments

Fallen once again…

by LivingDeadSoul 10/12/2012

written by LivingDeadSoul

I thought I was finally okay…

I had found the guy of my dreams…
He loves me scares and all…
He loves me for me…
He helps me up when I fall
And holds me close when cry
But i’ve slipped to far this time…
Farthest I’ve ever fallen….
I know I’m loved by at least one.
But each and everyday I feel
Self hate building stronger.
I’ve attempted to change myself…
Hateing the result each and every time…
I’ve tried to end it well over a hundred times….
But yet I’m still sitting here crying in pain…
The blood from my cuts seep down my wrist climbing over each scar…
He begs for me to not give up….
But this is […]

10/12/2012 0 comment

by darko 9/28/2012

written by darko

I’ve been a cutter since I was 11 or 12.. since before I knew why I liked it, or that other people in the world did it.
It may be a dangerous addiction, but I argue that it isn’t worse than drugs or alcohol or smoking.

I basically live in long sleeves and pants, but in ten years, I’ve slipped up and had some scars spotted by friends, family, co-workers.
I find some morbid fascination in people’s reactions and wondered what kind of reactions other people on here have received.

These days, I only keep close friends who understand my issues, but when I was a kid, […]

9/28/2012 3 comments

Sleepwalking through life

by SuicideBoy 8/11/2012

written by SuicideBoy

Funny how trivial everything becomes when you know you’re going to die. All these things that were once so important… job interviews, finances, hell even wars and famine and disease… are growing so distant, like a tv in the next room. Lately my own voice doesn’t even sound like me anymore. It sounds like the voice of some actor reading my lines. The other day I was talking and suddenly stopped because I sounded so weird, like REALLY WEIRD. Â I asked the other person if there was something wrong with my voice, and she said I sounded fine, politely adding, “maybe the acoustics are weird […]

8/11/2012 2 comments

How do you prepare for failure?

by fallen2far 7/16/2012

written by fallen2far

Dedication, intensity, effort, practice, determination… all those words in Gatorade commercials: sometimes you just, fail.

You get back up again, and fail again.Â Every failure hurts.Â You see people trying until they succeed, but you never see someone trying and failing all the time.Â If you try a a hundred times, they tell you you’ll succeed the 101st time.Â If you try a thousand times, you’ll succeed 1001.Â At what time can you quit and you’re not a quitter?Â You tried, you failed….. you’re a failure.Â You stop trying, you’re a quitter.Â You tell yourselfÂ you don’t care.Â It might even be true after a while.Â Passion […]

7/16/2012 2 comments

I’m useless in this “real world”….I’m such a fucking impractical, too imaginative person.. thus, I don’t belong here in this mundane, dull, boring real world..!

by niki 5/27/2012

written by niki

I’m useless in this “real world”….I’m such a fucking impractical, too imaginative person…
thus, I don’t belong here in this mundane, dull, boring real world..!
I often feel like I belong to another planet, universe, or perhaps another ‘spiritual’ plane, dimension,..something like that.
my super-vivid imagination’s world / universe is often a HUNDRED times much more lively, interesting, exciting, thrilling, and challenging than this apparently “Law and Order, all about money/profits and status” shallow, mundane, meaningless real world !

it’s my curse.

fuck my life..

get the hell me out of this fucking Matrix , please , somebody!
there should be an OPTION to get the fuck […]

5/27/2012 7 comments

Death

by elleyiss 3/12/2012

written by elleyiss

In my dream death is everywhere.

Old decrpit buildings covered inÂ filth, with shattered windows, and batteredÂ remnantsÂ tower before me.

No matter which way I turn my eyes see only rot.

Barely any souls here as I walk alone on this dismal planet.

The Earth is littered with black ooze, squirming andÂ gestating something I can not and dare not bare to imagine.

The black ooze begins to screechÂ and shriek Â even though they have no mouths.

I scream as I cover my ears, but it does nothing to block out the foul and horrid sounds.

Like a horrible siren only aÂ hundredÂ timesÂ worse.

Somehow I manage to escape this awfulÂ wailing.

Thousands of black creatures that swarm like locust cover […]

3/12/2012 1 comment