so in a efort of seperating lies from truth in my confused head in going to experament with this self help i havent posted on here for qwite some time apart form two posts last night frustrated that all the people i once knew were dead or missing i desided to try this this is my first try at leveing this place iv tryed 26 times that is to say 26 failed tryes and times were iv been a inch away… my first time i remember not so well its kinder a blere but if you can imagine me siting on a sofa pack of 20 crying […]
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I dont really know where to start with this… some peoples stories start off with them being abused or something but i can’t really pinpoint as to how i ever felt like this. I was bullied when i was 10 and up until secondary school for various things but i thought i had coped with all that. When i was 13 i first self harmed, and I’ve told my story so many times and it still sounds stupid every single time. I remember the very first time I hurt myself and my oh my it felt so good. I won’t go into details as to […]
Hey i wanted to thank you guys who were supporting me on this site. i was wondering if anyone wanted to tal my email is conduit28@gmail.com . could really talk to someone now
First of all sorry but i have wrote a lot, i have poured as much as i can say into this and feel completely lost and don’t know where to turn. I don’t want to burden anyone else with my problems but i just have no dea what to do.
I’m pretty much back to square one. I’ m no better than the 16 year old me who left school and had nothing to show for it.
I was diagnosed with manic depression at the age of 16 (although they were plenty of signs that i had this throughout my childhood) […]
I went to college and did well despite being bipolar. I studied hard. Just to find out i cant get a decent job, or hold it down. Im now a loser. im going to die soon. no help is coming. suicide is my only option. my only option. my only option. i cant live with this shame anymore.
I am a coward. I should have killed myself when i first thought of it. Ironically, i am terrified of self harm. I came from a broken home. My parents were both hard workers, i never really went through financial hardships…. That i could recall but i was rather young when we were poor so maybe that is why. My father is an alcoholic, he always has been. He would constantly hit my mother in front of us and would cause a scene no matter where we were. He was only violent when he was drunk. I remember being 10 when things really started going […]
It was midnight nobody was at home…. i picked the keys of my car … i locked my room and i moved to the car…the time was 2:30am …i started the moved on…then i went to a nearest mountainn…… i stopped the car and realizing all who dont care abt me … who betrayed me…And then i started the car again and i was incresing the car race and then i took my foot off from break and the car move soo speedly …And then i ijumped into the mountain with my car … I closed my eyes and praying to my lord […]
I have an amazing beautifal sweet caring loving girl. She’s psychologically sound and cant understand my plight. As i was doing so good for a while. I had a job making 32 bucks an hour 64 on weekends and i threw it all away for no other reason then i didnt like it and hated the boss. I sometimes wonder if having a girl who’s been where im at would be any different? One who understands me. From experiance. Like we could help each other . My girl is too normal as wierd as that sounds and i feel like shit sayin it
today my mom was yelling saying she wanted to diee & i said me too so she told me to do it & she said she was gunna go home & take pills and kill herself because she didnt want to be a mother anymore and she was done with us (brother,sister & i) …………..i called the cops on her telling them that she was making threats about killing herself am i wrong ??…. i knw shes gunna hate me even more now and never talk to me because of that. my family probably gunna stop talkking to me as well…. im always the […]
Well i dont know life has just been so off putting for me since a child i was treated like trash and forgotten by “friends” mostly or atleast id like to think because i was fat so i got in shape about 3-4 years ago but my life still felt pointless i couldnt seem to be happy after suffering so long i still felt alone i still felt hated and i hated myself for being to much of a coward to actually just get over with it and off with myself. And now my current situation begins this year i met a girl that well […]
okay so i tried to commit suicide. i was literally doing anything to die i was crying so hard i had no resources or anything so i just took a bottle of ibuprofen and i took 65 of them i went to the mental hospital and stayed there for like two-three days and i was really unhappy because i missed graduation and graduation was really important to me because that school was hell and i would have cried if i went to graduation because i was so happy i was out. but i didnt even get to go. i said everything i had to to […]
Well. Let’s face the facts babe.
you’re dead . cold.
softly floating in your blood. your eyes popped out of your skull like they were trying to reach out and strangle me.
and i finanlly undrerstood what had happened. i was not shaken.
i completely regognized the act of brutal savagery that was before my own eyes.
it did not strike fear into my heart.
only regret.the sting of regret that you didnt die slower.
that broke my heart. if i had one.
So, it has been a large number of years since the first time I wanted to be dead. Gone. Not here with all of the drama and BS that i have been unable to escape since i was born. However, last night, i was for some reason given the chance to see just one small part of the insanity that has plaqued my friends and family for years. The light has been turned on! They must sit by and watch this “person” that i become, verbally bash them and make them feel like shit.
I always thougt they were lying.
Now with that light turned […]
Im a femake,20yrs old ive tried to commit suicide all throughout my life since i was about 9 …growing up here i was made fun of for being fat and not speaking English….as a 9 yr old it sukd… i grew out of it n blended in a lil around jr high… but still i was made fun of for being fat… as i started highschool noone really cares about that anymore. .. but wen i was 16 i had my first bf .. he fuckd my hole wold up he would beat me… he would rape me… alot of times with his anger management […]
all i can think on my commute is, if i just step off the platform if i just jump in front of the train, my pain will go away. I’m too much of a coward to do that. i can’t stop tearing up at work, then i was out with my parents and started crying in front of everyone, they just thought i was sad to see my family friends move, sure i am extremely sad about that, but my sadness for myself is much worse. I’m completely miserable to the point i can’t take it anymore. i just want to scream and beg everyone […]
so i finally thought i overcame everything, but lately i felt the need to cut, i have cut out of desperation
i had an argument with a friend causing me and my partner to break up and causing her to break up with my friend,
things were said people where hurt and it hit me… i already felt dead inside… thoughts in my head “this is what you done, its your fault, your no good , everyone better of not knowing you” ect … so i went downstairs got a box of pills and took 24 paracetamols hoping id never wake up…
but here i am …. the […]
Hey I’ve not posted in almost 6 weeks i thought things was getting better but i was joking myself way would they I just cart see things every getting to where its a life worth living and fighting for
Well lets start with this. My first suicide attempt was when i was 12, its only gotten worse from there. I was so horrified from even the thought of ever wanting to hurt myself. Then my mind just got so damaged with my own horrible thoughts. I tried to hang myself with a belt in my bedroom when no one was home. Back then no one knew about my depression. Not my family, friends, no one. Yeah, life sucks, right?
So im sequoia.
my fight and my story might not be as bad as yours, but sadness is sadness. depression is depression. there shouldnt be a competition of who has it worse. so if you’re gonna tell me my problems arent shit, get the hell out.
anybutts,
Hiya c: im a 13 year old girl.
8th grade.
with depression
severe anxiety
and a fucked up family.
soooo here’s my story.
aye you sexy butt hole (;
wtf is wrong with me cx.
srry anyways,
it started when i was 7. my parents were in the middle of a divorce, and i didnt know it at the time but my mom was addicted to drinking and smoking. she […]
Hello,I have planned to end my life soon.I find it better than wasting time wandering around for help,which,in my case,i never got.
I am 18 yrs old.My family are religious fanatics.The kind of people who would run to God for every silly thing.They are weak people.Never gained the strength to live life.And they tried really hard to instill this “attribute” or “goodness” in me.But i simply dont understand all this nonsense.My mother has separated from my dad 5 yrs back.And shez extremely touchy and volatile.I cannot share anything with her as things blow up out of control.
I am left all alone now.I have lost my esteem;much […]