So. Tonight I was the closest I’ve ever gotten to finally killing myself. I mean it’s been maybe 8 months since I came to the conclusion that I needed to die, yet all I have to show for it are some fading scratches on my arm. It’s also been only a little bit shorter since I’ve started cutting myself – not so much because it made me feel better, but to get used to the pain and basically practice. I have to admit though, it usually did make the pain go away for the moment – except today. I made a deliberately deeper cut than […]
I was a rebound. We weren’t even dating for 2 days. She didn’t even want me. Right when someone better came along she wanted to leave. So why did she even say yes in the first place and why does this hurt so much. It’s like I can’t stop crying..
Leaving this world tonight. Gonna pack up and try somewhere else. This illusion’s crumbling. I saw myself in the mirror for the first time. Little grey mouse.
Wish me luck
TRIGGER WARNING
So I guess here’s a little about me. I choose not tell my age because I feel that just gives a reason for people to tell me that I have a long life ahead of me and things will get better and yada yada all the bullshit I’ve heard my entire life. Anyway, I have struggled with severe depression and anxiety since third grade as well as self harm and an eating disorder since fifth. I’ve attempted to kill myself twice before, the first one was not serious and I was in 8th grade and my mom found me and forced me to take […]
He’s the only guy to never do me wrong, I should have never left him. If I never left him in the first place, I wouldn’t be cursed with this issue. There’s no hope in love for me anymore, I’m gonna die alone, just like I came.
Hi, I am a typical high schooler. Im apart of my schools band. I love it at times. In the seventh grade I was bullied to the point of suicidal thoughts. I was put in the hospital. My parents say I only did it for attention. I ddnt. I was really sad and saw no reason tl live. Back in may, I was hospitalized for attempted suicide. I had got in a lot of trouble for something I didnt do. I felt like my parentd hated me. They even asked around for boarding school. They want me to be perfect. Im a teen, I make […]
Keepin’ my eyes on the road this time around
Keepin’ my hands pressed to the wheel
Something so strange as a woman has got me down
Ain’t gonna be your damn fool again
Drivin’ tonight just to ease my mind
A man in his mood is a most dangerous kind
And there was a time my head went blind
Couldn’t see the sign at the time years would go by
Before I wondered who or where or what or why
Lovin’ you was like lovin’ a house on fire
Burning and learning baby when the damage was done
And now I’m tired and I’m […]
I have to tell someone before I go – see, the world has been draining of color for a while now, all the blood seeping out like snow melting on the ground…and today I saw something. It whispered in my ear to go. There was a person smiling in the orange rock by the window, and then he was gone. He had jumped to the top of the pine tree overlooking the hotel, he was waving, waving madly, his face so faint that the wind could erase it.
This reality is a lie, it’s a sham, – I have to go to the Kalahari desert before the […]
Friend: If you had the choice, which super-power would you choose ?
Me: The power To-Be-Happy
Friend: Why ?
Me: We wish to become a Super-hero, like the ones who decorate our books, movies and comics, with their Super-natural powers. Their powers, is what we wish for: their ability to fly, be invincible, breathe fire, or extraordinary speed. Is speed needed when we need to slow down; why want invincibility when lack-of-acknowledgement is the root cause of our sadness; asking to fly when the ground is not understood is useless; breathing fire into a world that closely resembles hell –l is just plain sad. Asking for the Super-natural […]
I am so absolutely and unbelievably sad. I’ve had to stop my medication because I can’t afford it; it’ll be over a month before I can restart my medication for my bipolar treatment.
In the meantime, there is nothing that I can do to alleviate this sadness. It is a burden that is slowly and adroitly killing me. I am just so very tired of being cursed.
I am alone.
Its going on two years. Living with chronic pain. I
Tired to commit suicide. By over dos an cutting my wrist. But. I ended in a mental hospital for a few weeks. Im 25. I have a spine injury, kidney problems ulcer from being on pain meds. An just had an organ removed. I just found out I have a mass on my ovaries. I truly just want to die. Feel no more pain. My boyfriend of 6 years left me because I cant be sexual. The only person that matters to me passed. I told my doctors after two years of […]
Hi!
Thanks for reading. Im that girl that use to post pictures and qoutes on SP. Im not a good writer, so i like to post pictures instead. This is my first post that i write something. Its a poem. The girl in the poem is me. I know its short. But i Hope you will like it. Can you guess whats the story behind the poem? Please comment what you think about it. Ty!
Im a murderer
I killed the girl
I used to be
The girl that used to have a
Friend
the girl that used to be
Beautiful
the girl that used to be
I feel like a nobody, and like a burden to the others who do care. I have no health insurance, and a wisdom tooth that needs to come out. Daily I am reminded by excruciating pain, that I need to have it removed. No dental surgeons in the area and even out of my area, are willing to do payment plans for me. My husband even offered to sell his play station to put a down payment onto the bill, and no go! I feel […]
I dont want to feel this way anymore, but the only way for ghe pain to stop is if i just end it end it all. Is it wrong for me want a perfect life, but i already know i will never get that. I got in a fight with my grandparents on saturday for that they made it seem like they dont care if i kill myself. I yelled at my grandma tell her they are the reason why i cut myself” and all she said was “go do it, kill yoursrlf ill care less. When she said that i just wanted to end […]
Espero que não exista uma regra por não escrever em inglês. Eu consigo até ler inglês, mas não consigo escrever.
Sumir, desaparecer ou morrer, estes são os meus desejos no momento. Sabe, eu estou cansada de tentar e sempre dar errado.. de não conseguir pedir ajuda e quando pedir.. a pessoa vem com 7 pedras na mão.
É muito fácil julgar alguém porque está sofrendo com seus problemas por mais “simples” que ele seja, pode até ser simples pra você, mas para a pessoa que está sentindo é a pior coisa do mundo.. é tão difícil entender isso?
Sinceramente eu não sei mais o que fazer e cada dia que […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Today I bought razor blades and then went home and listened to King Gordy time to die. It brought me comfort reminding me of when I would take a knife to my basement and listen to the same song. I feared I had changed a lot since I began consuming and shipping drugs but this helps remind me of my old innocent self. But even then I was suicidal, I recently read from an old journal I had about how much I hated my father getting drunk and my mother yelling, which is funny because I don’t recall my father getting drunk upsetting me that […]
Can’t get over this
So every-second so close-to
Hell and Heaven
Etch from the essence
I walk for another race
What is the fallacy that I have done
What do you see, what do you hear, what do you speak
What did I ever say my destination was
Like a fish with no water from ages-ago
Who is it that does what in the plague and sickness
I just don’t get it, I just need your oracle from where you stand
Like the Spirit-Bomb, of Goku
I think life is really beautiful, but I’m really depressed. There is so much crap going on in the world right now, and yet, there is an equal number of good things. Watching the news makes me think about why life is even important. But beautiful moments like a person saving another person by sacrificing his or her life, or a new wonderful scientific discovery, makes me think that maybe, humanity is not completely lost. Maybe there is hope.
No one will ever know the pain I feel inside..
There’s this girl in the mirror I wonder who she is at times I think I know her and sometimes I wish I did there is a story in her eyes, lullabies, and goodbyes when she’s looking back at me I can tell she’s hurting inside she smiles with all that she has left yet tears are left un-dried and though she’s got so much to say she bottles it up inside if you look past her broken eyes to a shadow no one sees a disguise so you won’t recognize the girl is really me […]