Fear is my problem. I’ve always thought that I have the mind to be dominant in any venture I choose, if not for my withdrawn nature. ‘Shy’ has been my label for as long as I can remember, but now it’s apparent to me that fear is what holds me back. I’m completely crippled by fear, unable to make life progress that involves going outside my comfort zone. I should note that the psychological blocks in my mind are really the only thing the matter with me; I live a pretty charmed life. Everything I want is within my grasp, I just need to find […]
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in the
That is the new slogan I have come up with. It is equally meaningful and lacking in motivation, a suitable one for SP, if I do type so myself 🙂
To everyone who feels alone and abandoned: Know this! we are online buddies in despair!
Wow…that was worse than I imagined :'(
At least we are not alone, in the physical sense at least. As a famous person once said: “Tis better to suffer together, than to die alone”.
My ex-boyfriend has sworn to murder me. I was in an abusive relationship with him for 2 years (2009-2011) and I only escaped after he strangled me in the car and someone happened to be walking by and I called the cops, even though he said he would kill me if I ever did.
Let’s jump to 5 years later. I moved and he has emailed me thousands of death threats over the past 5 years. I wish that was a hyperbole, but I actually counted. I received 993 angry/threatening emails in one year alone. Let’s also note that I haven’t responded to a single one of […]
“there is a loneliness in this world so great
that you can see it in the slow movement of
the hands of a clock.
people so tired
mutilated
either by love or no love.
people just are not good to each other
one on one.
the rich are not good to the rich
the poor are not good to the poor.
we are afraid.
our educational system tells us
that we can all be
big-ass winners.
it hasn’t told us
about the gutters
or the suicides.
or the terror of one person
aching in one place
alone
untouched
unspoken to
watering a plant.”
You r walking the street along,
alone in the darkness,
on your mind only your sadness,
you r walking the street along,
the railway comes closer,
but where is your sanity?
Were?
Your sanity is slowly slipping from your head now,
you r standing closer to the edge than you should be alowed.
You already realized it,
but why r u still walking along?
The years between my graduation from college and meeting you were filled with depression and loss; I was in an existential crisis; I was a tortured soul. I became an abuser of alcohol. But, that abuse went unnoticed because I lived in a college town where binge drinking was the norm. I worked a job where my co-workers partied hard. We had so many parties where I drank to the point of blacking out on too many occasions to count. I suppose the drinking was a way to cope with my distress. I can remember many occasions where I would be driving or doing any […]
Life is empty & meaningless, without any/no purpose, Life is boring, empty! There is no meaning of life! fuck life, fuck reality !
by niki
written by niki
Life is empty & meaningless, without any/no purpose, Life is boring, empty! There is no meaning of life! fuck life, fuck reality !
The more I grow up & learn after all these 32 years of my life, sadly, the more I feel hopeless especially for humanity / our humans species!
MAJORITY of people / humans beings / humanity are so damn shallow, superficial, vain, ignorant, stupid, fake, dirty, liars, etc etc.
I used to have so much HOPE for humanity , but now the hope is dwindling until it’s almost none !!
MOST people are sadly only concerned with vain, shallow, mundane “daily-life” & little […]
So I meet him. I can’t say it was love at first sight, but since the first time I saw him I was atracted. He has that “something”. I was in a few relationships in the past, but with him everything was so different. It was scary. We started knowing each other, talking everyday, telling each other how much we wanted to be near. Because being with him was like living a dream, like talking to the only person that sees your soul. My lips won’t kiss anybody the way they kissed him. I’m sure I’m made for him. But then, at the time I […]
“Because, he said, “I sometimes have a queer feeling with regard to you – especially when you are near me, as now: it is as if I had a string somewhere under my left ribs, tightly and inextricably knotted to a similar string situated in the corresponding quarter of your little frame. And if that boisterous channel, and two hundred miles or so of land some broad between us, I am afraid that cord of communion will be snapt; and then I’ve a nervous notion I should take to bleeding inwardly. As for you, – you’d forget me.”
I miss you, SRC.
It appears I’ve come a long way from the post I made in March of this year.
I had broken up with my girlfriend because my family was vehemently against me seeing her. She was a friend-with-benefits of my brother, and they weren’t talking anymore because she felt he wasn’t really interested in being “friends” or having benefits anymore. There was tension, but I had grown to like her very much as I got to know her in the peripheral of their growing apart. My brother and mother were merely disappointed and worried at first, letting me be a grown man and making a choice. But […]
She stands at the edge of the precipice,
looking down towards her future.
The last tears that she will ever cry,
falling from her eyes,
then falling into oblivion.
She watches them drop
as they disappear forever.
Yet, she laughs in the face of death.
Would it really matter if she took the leap?
She has been forgotten by tomorrow.
The wind blowing at her back,
pushes her to the edge.
Almost agreeing with her final decision,
and encouraging her to jump.
A thousand thoughts and memories
racing through her mind.
Her first day of school.
Her tenth birthday party.
The lonely, awkward days of her teenage years.
thank you my friends at sp, for a most wonderful day. this is the best i have felt in a month, and i attribute it to you. you give me hope (damnit, whispers, lol). all of you have shown me many things, but most importantley, you have shown me i can love. again. for those of you who dont know my story, thats a big thing. it finalley started snowing here (lol, i know tm) i walked to the store for a coke and smokes,giggling and laughing. why? all i could think about was three moons. come my friend lets dance in the snow,make a […]
the innate sadness attached to suicide is the brain trying to protect it’s genetic self…
by tinder1972
written by tinder1972
…so as thinking beasts it is our duty to rationalize the shit out of such thoughts and conclude that suicide is nothing more than a choice; no more significant than choosing which shoes to wear on a bright summers day.
Our lives are not that significant in the universal pattern, they are infintely short and rather grotesque affairs. My life is no more important or grandiose than your life, or the life of a perceived saint, we are all part of the same sea, or shit ball, depending on your outlook. Don’t get me wrong, there are good people, and there are definitely bad people, […]
we’ll dance through the night with the moon light shining down on us
but in a few months ill text you while im drunk i won’t get a reply
we’ll talk for hours on end in the middle of the night both of us tired as fuck
but in a few months ill try to start a conversation with you and you’ll ignore me
we’ll hug each other when we see each other and talk for a few months
but in a few months when i see you you’ll ignore me like im nothing
we’ll talk about deep things and question life and have a great time
but […]
My name is Joseph…..I’m a cutter, and I’m sick of being alive. I have nothing and nobody, and I’m worthless. I refuse to act on suicide anymore though because I’m sick of being locked up in those inpatient prisons for the mentally ill. Getting no help. On August 26th, I drove out in front of a semi going 70 in my 2012 Ford Focus. I was ready to end it. I was sick of the pain. It tore up my car, but somehow I walked away from it. Then my mom decided to kick me out so she could have her piece of crap, sleezebag […]
What’s the stat? 50% of happy blushing couples end up in bitter divorce, right?
So…there’s prospects of a divorce, finally. For my parents. After 15 miserable years. She becomes increasingly self-absorbed, clingy, needy, sensitive. He becomes withdrawn, detached, bitter. He falls in love with another local woman, bubbly, blonde, a book-lover, confident, independent. I half-guessed that my dad was swirling around with someone else. It was inevitable.
It was wrong, yes, but I can’t blame him. My mother isn’t easy to live with. Actually, it’s pure hell. Don’t get me wrong, I do love her – many good traits, etc – but my mom and my dad […]
Haven’t gotten out of my bed all day today, only to use the restroom, but that’s it. Haven’t eaten all day, and I’ve been up since 6 a.m. trying to lose weight. I’m fat. I cut myself Tuesday and Wednesday and its not healed yet, usually I’ll have a scab, but I guess I cut myself deeper than usual cause the wounds still open. It sucks i have to hide it from my dad an step mom. I don’t know I’m in a weird place, been thinking this whole time while I’ve been in my room. If I killed myself right now, no one would […]
So 2 nights ago, I had to get some thoughts out of my head. I started an email; but intended just to erase it, but instead I sent it to myself. I was writing my comments to 2 men. One I have known for years, “TX”, but recently re-connected. He is someone I can call and talk to about anything. But he is also selfish and arrogant. The other man I just met last week on line. He sounded like the answer to my prayers. He was very attracted to me and from everything I could see, […]
Anxious,Depressed but now mostly Confused (Is cracking up n going crazy the only thing left for me..)..
by confusedboy
written by confusedboy
Hello i am a 21 year old boy with depression and anxiety problem.Wish i had known about this page years ago but no worries.ok here we go.I have always been a depressed kid since i can remember.i was kept in a school hostel since the age of 6 cause my parents had to go abroad to work.The hostel was worst.They gave bad food (worms in food,burnt,always potato) and on top of that they charged more money.The person incharge of looking after us was the most miserable person i have ever met,always beating us and taking whatever stuff our parents had sent via parcel.I can still […]
whats that one thing that you see in front of you that you know you’ll never get….