religious nuts. thats what i said to him when i saw some preechers on the streets. im 17. i used to be mildly religious, i used to pray and be conscious of my sins, then at 13 my innocents was robbed ironicaly my cross pendant that i wore permenantly broke in the process, i kept the truth to myself but it slowly ate away at me, destroying any faith i had, leading me down a dark hole of depression. then i met sam again, after 3 years of just saying hey down the corridoor. he caught site of my scars and fresh cuts, he opened […]
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in the
Music & Lyrics By: ?
We Know Full Well There’s Just Time
So Is It Wrong To Toss This Line?
If Your Heart Was Full Of Love
Could You Give It Up?
‘Cause what about, what about Angels?
They will come, they will go, make us special
Don’t give me up
Don’t give…
Me up
How unfair, it’s just our love
Found something real that’s out pf touch
but if you’d searched the whole wide world
would you dare to let it go?
‘Cause what about, what about Angels?
They will come, they will go, make us special
Don’t give me up
Don’t give…
Me up
‘Cause what about, what about angels?
They will come, they will go, make us special
It’s not […]
When I was in senior school I wanted to die; I don’t mean that in the typical “too much work, not enough freedom” way… I mean it, I really wanted to die. I’d written the perfect note, I had a million painkillers all crushed up ready to mix with some water and down. I didn’t even care what anyone said that day at school ‘cause I knew when I got home it would all be over. Lunchtime arrived and I only had two lessons left until the end of the day; double English. I loved English ‘cause no one really bothered me in it. For […]
I wrote a whole long spiel but in the end I’ll just reduce it to this:
Fellow people who didn’t grow up with *close* friends or *supportive* family, how have you created meaning in your life? I’ve always thought life’s meaning was what you made out of it– and I still do– but now I’m realizing you can’t make anything out of life if you don’t believe it could become a reality. And you can’t believe in a dream like that if you don’t believe in yourself. My problem is I don’t know how to believe in myself. I think psychological research has bolstered the theory […]
Few things about me. My name is Kiriakos. i am 32 years old. I am from Greece. I have to say that i have been diagnosed with Depression symptoms.
I am a very sensitive guy and probably overprotected by my family from my early years. I have friends but as from a gf i was very lonely since my early years. I was bullied mostly mentally at school every single day, i had problems my family to understand me and during the age of 16 had agoraphobia (i manage to pass it alone after 3 years). i was ugly as a young child and this let […]
I got sucked in. The darkness took over and when it takes over it drowns you and pulls you away so that you can no longer see the light. No one sleeps in the dark we stay awake and let our thoughts take us away to endless possibilities and the only way we feel greatness is to pour another drink and provoke trouble because trouble is the only thing we can feel. I got sucked in.
Its been approximately a year since I’ve posted .In that time I’ve had alot of time to think and reflect.I’ve discovered alot about myself.as all of.you dont know I despise myself.I hate myself.I look in the mirror everyday and hate what I see.im only ever good for hurting other people.thinking back to when everything first began for me I already knew that all thats happened to me up until now was gonna happen.you see everyone follows their own paths in life.some not always good.you decide what path,journey,what road you will walk.me?I chose this path knowing that I’d end up alone.I knew that I’d come to […]
If your battling depression and issues in your life right now. The crazy stuff going on in the world doesnt help much.
We have plagues like Ebola and the Black Plague popping up and killing lot of people. Other mysterious illnesses are
popping up and injuring people and doctors don’t even know what some of the Illnesses are. e have wars in the middle east
we have countries beefing up their arsenal of nuclear weapons and making threats towards other nations.
We have governments taking away peoples rights and people that have been sworn to protect us making declensions
that make things worse for us…. and some of those elected […]
the shrink doesn’t think there is anymore drug wise he can do for me. he doesn’t think my depression is a chemical imbalance . so as of today i have stopped taking my meds. he doesn’t know this. i guess he will figure it out when i stop seeing him. from my research it seems i will be in for a hell of a ride. oh well. doesn’t sound like any of it will be lethal but one can hope. maybe the only thing it will accomplish is to clarify my desire to be dead. been thinking about it hard and heavy. haven’t procured the […]
My feet are clammy from the marathons I am forced to run in my mind. Was that you that came to me in the hopeless dark of the night? Or are these blessed visions an after image of a cursed mind? My soul is an enigma. It baffles the masses and their fear overruns their ignorance. Alas, even I am perplexed by what I have become. A solitary phantom drifting down a rocky precipice but it cannot reach the dark waters. I wish I could ascend on starry wings though this is just a fantasy, once cherished. So what will be the method of my […]
just when you think you got it all together life hits you with a curve ball and puts you back in the slumps.
You may not know it but so many people care about you… I’ve recently attempted suicide and when I woke up in the hospital only then I realized the awesome people I would have left behind. Yes life sucks and sometime it seems almost unbearable but nothing last forever not even emotions. Tough times don’t last, tough people do. Get the help you need and try your absolutely best everyday and you will find some sunshine in what seems like an awful storm. It’ll be hard, I won’t lie, there will be days when getting out of bed seems like a chore but never whatever […]
Suddenly i realized that it is not my nightmares i am afraid of, or the monster that hides inside me, nor the ghosts that hide in the corners or the darkness inside my mind.. i realize that what I’m actually afraid of is being alone.. “alone” that awful word to hear.
In 2010, after over a decade of severe depression and several years of suicidal feelings, I made the decision to finally end things. To this day, it is the only time I have ever made concrete plans to take my life.
I kept a journal documenting my decision and feelings before and leading up to my planned suicide. Below are excerpts from two of those journal entries (the second being parts of a private message sent to someone from my past I had reconnected with. It was written as my end date was approaching).
Perhaps there are some people who will find comfort in reading these things […]
For some lucky individuals, autism frees them. Unfortunately for me, it traps me. I live in the world of repetition. My past aka my bullying days haunts me everyday. I really tried to let it go. but to no avail. My family refused to believe I have tried.
Whatever bad experiences I had haunts me everyday. That is the symptom of autism. Same thoughts comes to you in a cyclic manner. I struggled to gain acceptance in the past without success. I used to think what is wrong with me? Why doesn’t nobody likes me? Why am I so slow […]
So… My grandmother(current guardian) took me shopping today. Nothing out of the ordinary for a Sunday. We started arguing, also very typical. She said the friend I’ve just recently started hanging out with, Sarah, would leave me when she found out I cut and I’ve been hospitalized for it. I let her know that her and her parents both know. I’ve had in-depth conversations with her mom about it, because she’s been hospitalized as well, for depression. But then my grandma said that everyone that I hang around cuts themselves, and that I’m the reason they do it. As she was going into the dollar […]
Hi everyone! Soo for starters, I’m not really sad or depressed, tho i’ve struggled with that a lot in the past. I’m not mentally ill or delusional, at least i don’t think lol? I’m 19, considered really pretty, i have friends, plenty if guys to date, and a wonderful amazing family i love to bits.
But I really want to die. My reasons are complicated and really personal and paaartially to with unchangeable stuff in my life but basically i’m just…done. I don’t think there’s much more i can gain from living this life anymore and i figure whatever comes next even if its complete oblivion […]
I feel emotionally disconected. There is no reason for me to feel depressed or sad, because I don’t have what anyone would consider a bad life. I feel disgusting, because other people have real reasons to be sad and depressed, yet here I am. There is nothing special about me. There is no reason for anyone to extend an effort to help me out because I don’t feel like I contribute to society in the slightest. The only reason why I feel any guilt is that I do not want my few friends and my small family to feel like they failed. No one failed […]
Lets do it. Lets start a trust fund. We all sell some pf our things then put it in a trust and agree to all meet someplace and use the tust money to pay the fair for who ever wants to come. Then we buy a bomb and just hold hands and sing a prayer or a hymn or something and just wait for it to us all up. Don’t you see that this is your chance!? Stop procastinating! We can do this together don’t you see! we can help each other. We’re all in the same boat so lets just punch a hole in […]
you can never fully be happy in life. for most, we’re born with the bad things in life. some of us grow up without a mother or father, of both. some of us grow up in the terrible parts of the world. without a home, without a family, without clothes, food, an education. some of us just grow up different. these terrible things are what tell us to be appreciative of what we have.. to not be sorry for ourselves and how we feel. I grew up with a family, a roof over my head, food on the table, a mother, father, in a good […]