And the worst part is I don’t even OWN a dog.
Anyway, woke up today with a terrible earache, which probably means my ear infection came back.
Hurts to eat or drink anything (chewing and swallowing, ouch).
It even hurts to talk.
So here I am, sitting quietly at home, eating and drinking nothing.
Hello fellow SPers. I hope things are going ok for you all?
I’m sooo tired at the moment. Combination of feeling pants on the health-front and screwing around with my body clock – chatting to someone from SP who lives in the US. There’s only a four hour time difference, but in the early hours of the morning in the UK, boy, it’s a killer!
I’ve had to take time off sick for the first time in nearly three years because of a chest infection resulting from a cold caught off one of my very generous work colleagues! The office I work in has way too many […]
In case any of you were wondering how the other doctor appointment went Thursday…
I have an MRI of my skull scheduled for March 31st.
They’re doing two of them: “with and without contrast”. This means that for the second one, they’re going to inject dye into me so everything in my head lights up like a tacky Las Vegas strip.
I’ve had plenty of MRI’s in my life, but none with dye.
Best case scenario is that it’s a benign mass which isn’t growing.
Or, better yet, that it’s […]
Im a little nervous bout tomorrow night. I dont have anything planned but it always seems in my luck for things to start turning topsy turvy whenever i let the roll of the dice take the wheel. Ive been spending the week with a really close friend of mine i known since highschool. Hes been under a lot of stress with his mom going through chemo even had an infection scare and i drove her an hour back towards LA to the nearest hospital.
Shes doing much better btw and weve been having a good time in each other’s company but it feels bittersweet knowing […]
I am not doing so well, my mother is dying and I am having a hard time dealing with it. She has been my life for a very long time and I made sure she was fine each and every day. She is 78 and now has heart problems and pneumonia which are making it hard for her to fight off the infection. I have been depressed for some time now and have been weighing ways to kill myself. I had finally decided on sleeping pills but after reading so many horror stories about people who take 30 or so pills and they don’t die- would […]
This is the last place that I’m willing to share my thoughts. I’m tired of trying to help people understand how I feel about life; it’s a waste of a breath. As a self-professed nihilist, one of the big rules that I live by is that “it doesn’t matter what other people know”. Trying to convince anyone of anything is a waste of breath. Just leave them all to their own meaningless thoughts and I’ll stick to mine.
But here, I’m as close to being around comrades as I’ll ever be. Even though I feel half dead from a viral infection in my chest, that
Mine is terrible I have this amazing guy who is my bestfriend from preschool. I had to protect him because he had sex once intoxicated so my ex wouldn’t throw him to jail. Cause all he wanted is to be a dick to me because he has nothing better to do in his life. But the best thing about my bestfriend is that he is trying to help me lose weight cause I didn’t like it and he is also very caring about my cutting, I’ve cut my legs so bad that I have a infection in one of the deepest cuts and I have […]
Nothing gets better. It just changes. Yesterdays bloody wound is tomorrows festering infection. Nothing heals. Distractions fade and reality comes crushing down. It never ends.
My feet are clammy from the marathons I am forced to run in my mind. Was that you that came to me in the hopeless dark of the night? Or are these blessed visions an after image of a cursed mind? My soul is an enigma. It baffles the masses and their fear overruns their ignorance. Alas, even I am perplexed by what I have become. A solitary phantom drifting down a rocky precipice but it cannot reach the dark waters. I wish I could ascend on starry wings though this is just a fantasy, once cherished. So what will be the method of my […]
Are You Sure You Want To Quit The World?
If you were desperate and hopeless enough to log on to a suicide chat room in recent years, there was a good chance a mysterious woman named Li Dao would find you, befriend you, and gently urge you to take your own life. And, she’d promise, she would join you in that final journey. But then the bodies started adding up, and the promises didn’t. Turned out, Li Dao was something even more sinister than anyone thought
BY NADYA LABI
October 2010 Update, March 20, 2014
Yesterday, the Minnesota Supreme Court reversed the lower court’s decision, ruling […]
BY ANNE SEXTON
Since you ask, most days I cannot remember.
I walk in my clothing, unmarked by that voyage.
Then the almost unnameable lust returns.
Even then I have nothing against life.
I know well the grass blades you mention,
the furniture you have placed under the sun.
But suicides have a special language.
Like carpenters they want to know which tools.
They never ask why build.
Twice I have so simply declared myself,
have possessed the enemy, eaten the enemy,
have taken on his craft, his magic.
In this way, heavy and thoughtful,
warmer than oil or water,
I have rested, drooling at the mouth-hole.
I did not think […]
I am, or at the very least I feel like, the personification of a rather unfortunate or miserable concept.
The lonely romantic, the darkest corner of an existence, personified.
I, being a potential paradox invoked unnaturally upon the world, would naturally fall privy to this bleak state.
I feel as if I don’t belong, like I never was meant to be, in this world. And the world senses my foreign nature, and it tries to exorcise me from itself; not unlike our bodies attacking and destroying an infection.
It can be a slow and grueling process, but most of the time, the world ends up the victor.
As always, comments […]
I have a question to all the self harmers out there,..
Anytime I cut, scratch, burn, ect..they get really infected but whenever I get a scratch or cut from something not caused by me it doesn’t get infected at all.
I don’t understand…help?
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